Why do I keep making excuses

[MushroomCandle]

I feel like I keep making up excuses or reasons I can’t date but why is that? Can anyone relate? I have been single and celibate for 10 years, I obviously miss intimacy but at the same time I keep thinking of reasons why I shouldn’t date or excuses not to, I don’t want a fwb or anything like that. Is there something wrong with me? How do others date and move on so quickly?! (Not judgemental I’m actually quite jealous) Do I need some kind of therapy or should I just bite the bullet and get back out there?

Without being trite it IS a bit like riding a bike – you can go for years knowing that you can but then when someone offers you their's to ride you realise that you might fall off so you make up an excuse.

Not necessarily anything wrong with you, and if you're happy as you are there's no need to change but...but, wouldn't it be good to whizz along with the wind in your hair and a grin on your face once in a while. Doesn't matter if you scrape your knees in the process 😉

I wouldn’t say I was happy as I am, maybe for the first 5 or so years but not now but again I make excuses why I can’t meet anyone.

I do not think therapy helps with this, If you do not feel the needs for a partner, it is okay, not everyone has to.

We are not gibbons, my mother was single from 50 til she died at 73

Don’t think about the moving on quickly because you are sabotaging before you start. Try speed dating first maybe with a friend as wing man/woman

I would like a partner sorry if that wasn’t clear I just don’t know why I’m making excuses to not find one

It took some counselling to get me going again after an awful split (and a family bereavement at the same time). Perhaps it might be worth talking to someone, it could help.

What's your theory as to why you're making excuses? (and what are the excuses?).

What happened in your last relationship? Were you heart? Did it take a long time to get over?

So do I lol maybe we should make a connection hahaha,

I think you just need to look at yourself first, do you find yourself lonely during dinner, bed time etc?
if so, you likely need a partner or even what you rule out, fwb(they do not always mean sexual).

I am a single man and I can be honest, in my mid 30s, most of my friends are single and i am finding myself hating to cook because dinner will be alone, stuck on a silly program and just going to sleep.

Maybe you need to just put yourself out there.

Is it because you want some aspect of a relationship, but the overall effort and reality is simply not worth it?

How valid are your excuses? Is it that you have turned down relationships IRL, or are you making excuses not to go online?