Am I in the wrong? Step kids and anniversary

[TheOP2]

It's our wedding anniversary Sunday and hubby said he would organise an afternoon tea (he never organises anything for us) . He has just asked me if I wanted to celebrate next weekend as we are out for his mum's birthday Saturday night. I said no as I would rather celebrate on the actual day! He has now just told me that we won't be able to do anything until the evening as he has his kids ... I said I thought you would have made plans to take them home earlier as it's a special day. But no he said they can't go earlier. So he has obviously made absolutely no plans!!! I'm working away this week so won't see him and he hasn't even put any effort in for when I get back!! Am I right to be annoyed or should I just accept it.... ? I'm just annoyed at the lack of effort and planning ... Seems like he doesn't even care enough ....

I can't see why kids would interrupt anniversary plans. Can't you all go out for Sunday lunch?

If you expect him to cut short his time with his kids and expect their mum to change her plans to facilitate your anniversary celebrations, you are in the wrong.

I don't see how you can be annoyed with him having his dc. Why can't he take you out Sunday night?

So he has limited time with his kids and you think he should change his plans with them so you can have an afternoon tea on an exact date?
I do think you’re being a bit unreasonable tbh

100% of the time my kids (when younger and still do in twenties and thirties) come first. You are with a man who already had children and with that comes responsibilities. I admire him, such a change from the cba men who don't make an effort with their kids.

Grow up. You can celebrate your anniversary on any day. His kids shouldn't miss out with time with dad.

Celebrate the fact that you've married a man who puts his kids first.

Celebrate Sunday night if you eat it to be the right day.
Celebrate the following weekend if you want the afternoon tea.

Why can't you go out at night for dinner? He probably floated the afternoon tea as a suggestion but other things came up. Mainly his children who's time with him is important,

You married a man with children, what do you expect?

You don't get to ditch your kids because it's an anniversary/someone's birthday etc. They're not just for Christmas!

How often does he parent? If he's one of those men who are merely a weekend visitor to their kids, he definitely shouldn't be further reducing his parenting time.

If you want to be limited to a celebration on the actual date, you'll need to include his kids.

You sound like a child .

I’m usually really pro step mum, but why can’t you all go out for dinner together?

Yep. What if they were shared kids and you had them all the time? How would you get rid of them for personal time then?

Surely afternoon tea is a perfectly child friendly event? Why can't you all go out together? Then you can have a later dinner à deux if you want some adult time. FTR I have 2 stepchildren.

But his kids should come before you surely?

It's not his ex partners problem that you want to celebrate on a specific date. Why should she have to change her plans? Do what the rest of us with children do and celebrate with them or don't bother.

I agree with pp. I wouldn't cut my time with my children short to do something that I could do another time (or do with them included).

His children should be his priority.

Your relationship with the kids is probably the biggest issue here

This. I've just come back from a really nice meal with just me and my DC.

I would never ever get into a relationship with a man who had children because I know they should always come first and I know deep down I wouldn't like that if it effected me in some way ( don't flame me, I would never ever get into a relationship ship with a man with children because of the way I feel )

I don't understand women who get into relationship ships with men who have children who are then annoyed when these men who ( rightly so ) put their children first

YABU OP. You shouldn't of got Into a relationship with a man who already had children if you wa.red to be a priority

Go out with the kids for tea, get a sitter, or go out another time just like any other parent celebrating an anniversary.