Partner still in touch with ex wife

[Maddreamer1]

I've been with my partner for a year now and he still meets up with his ex wife for a catch up every few months. They split up 5 years ago. He knows I feel really uncomfortable with this situation but still he insists on seeing her. I know he feels a lot of guilt about cheating on her and feels like he needs to look out for her but I can't explain it, my stomach just gets into knots and I get extremely anxious before he meets up with her until I hear from him after they've met. I am constantly expecting him to tell me they're getting back together. He's seeing her tomorrow night and I can't sleep. He knows I'm in a state about it but he will not stop his plans to see her. He tells me that I knew he's still friends with her from the start of our relationship. He did tell me from the start that he occasionally speaks to her but I didn’t realise until 3 months into our relationship that they still meet up occasionally. Am I being controlling asking him not to meet her?

Thank you for giving me a different viewpoint on this. It gives me some hope!

I agree with you, i think she still holds out hope he'll go back to her as he was the one that ultimately ended it between them.

I just feel sick at the thought of it.

Ah you really need to end it op it will eat you up and drive you crazy
I’ve had similar but with a female ‘best friend’ who pushed too many boundaries for my liking and it drove me crackers

Yes i have posted before - I'm being ridiculous I know! At my age I should know better but for I'm feeling so stuck with all this because he opened my heart wide open and when things are good, they're really intense and amazing. And I just don't want to have to start all over again 😪 I'm so tired of this rubbish.

A year in and you’re already posting about him constantly on here

the meeting with an ex is nothing compared to how you’re allowing this man in your life when he’s got no interest in your child. Where on earth do you think this is going?

put your son first and just stop seeing this bloke. You probably won’t but be very sure on one thing … nothing will improve

When my first husband and I divorced we remained friends and would occasionally meet for a coffee etc. From both an emotional and physical point of view there was absolutely nothing in it and it was weird to think we'd ever been married. However, when I met the man who would become my second husband I told him early on that I was friends with an ex. I invited him to join us, they got on fine and there was no mistrust. However, when my ex met someone she didn't like that he still knew me and he made the decision to put her first and end our friendship. I was fine with that, because I could understand her feelings.

If you wish to remain with your partner then he needs to consider yours. Does his ex know you exist and if so, why haven't you been given the option to meet her? If she knows nothing about you, then that's a red flag.

Lots of good advice saying the same thing here. I think you know what you need to do op. He will be back with her at the drop of a hat, or at least sleeping with her, and you will never know when or where it’s going to happen. You already know he’s a habitual liar so the stress and worry of this will be constant and very damaging over time. Get out now (if it wasn’t already clear).
If it’s true that he also has no interest in your child (I haven’t read that post ) then FFS you should have dumped him already, clearly you are incompatible and your child should be coming first.

I have been on both sides, the ex wife and new girlfriend. XH (who as far as I know has remained single) still regularly asks for sex. When I was single, I used to go along with it occasionally. Now I look back and cringe but guess I was lonely at the time.

A recent ex had an ex wife who he seemed far too close with for my liking. When she found out about us, she rang him up while we were out one evening asking if he was out with me and he lied to her. That was enough to end the relationship.

Personally, I think giving the fact they don’t have children, it’s very strange that they’re still in contact. I would proceed with caution.

Omg nooo
Something is weird here

He was upfront about the ex in the first place.

What's weird is resurrecting this thread three months later for no reason!

Omg sorry no. An ex is an ex say hello in the street if you bump into them but spending time with them and meeting them a big massive no no, particularly when you are in another relationship. How would he react if you were meeting up with a man you used to sleep with? Tell him that’s what you’re planning, his reaction will tell you everything, if he doesn’t care he doesn’t love you and is secretly still in love with his ex and is possibly sleeping with her. If he does care and doesn’t want you to do that, tell him the meeting up with his ex stops now for good or he is a single man.

who did he cheat on her with? Was it you?

I Think you’d feel anxious himbmeeting any female in this scenario because you know he is capable of cheating and not only in a relationship but on his wife. Has he done any work on himself to figure out what allowed him to do that? Been to therapy?

You are not his priority and you've been told this on your other thread. You are coming back here hoping for a different answer but everything you say about him makes it as clear as day that he's just not that interested in what you feel or want.

He does what he wants, when he wants and his attitude is that you can like it or lump it!

A man who really loved you would put you first ; seeing an ex would be something he stopped doing in a heartbeat if it bothered you ; he would want to spend time with you and your son. Fact is, he doesn't. Not of there's a 'better' offer. The sooner you wake up and get rid, the better.

You’re not his no 1 and his history isnt good so move on.