What do you make of these messages?

[georgiegold]

this is an exchange between ex partner and I from March. This was after my partner took me to collect dc. Ex had recently started seeing dc (4) after the end of a non mol that lasted 3yrs. I have already posted but I wanted to know what others may get when they read the messages (with less context). Lastly ex was already aware of partner prior to this day.

For some reason it’s posted in the wrong order. The first one showing is actually the last

Sounds like he's still trying to be controlling.

And your response - i.e. it's none of your business - sounds spot on.

If he's starting contact again, you might want to use one of the court approved parenting apps, so you have a record of what he says/his messages, and can use it if he stays escalating his behaviour. But your solicitor can advise you on that.

Unpleasant but your response to ignore the irrelevant content is sensible

Thank you for your comment. These are actually screen shots from one of those apps. But he thinks there’s nothing wrong with what he said I guess - since he’s willing to say it all in the app. Contact hasn’t happened again since this day though

He’s definitely being controlling. Glad it’s all the app. He sounds like a horrible waste of space.

He’s definitely trying to assert himself in these messages. You were right to shut down the comments about how you travelled there and home.
On a less serious note, I am creasing at him trying to sound all dominant, and then saying ‘tic for tac’ (like the mints) instead of tit for tat.

Tic for tac - reminded me of Jade Goody RIP

He's trying to bait you into an argument - your response is good. In situations like this just keep repeating 'not your business', and do not engage.

His last 'the more I think about it message' reeks of desperation and he is clearly raging that you haven't sunk to his level, so he is resorting to threats that you will 'regret' your behaviour.

But not sure why you are still thinking about an exchange that happened in March! You're separated from him, don't let him live rent free in your head!!

Not very intelligent, is he, poor idiot. “Tic for tac” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
basically, he sounds like a controlling, whiny, insecure clod with low intelligence.

Didn’t you already post about this yesterday? Ignore his messages when they are not relevant. He doesn’t need to know how you travelled to meet him. You’ve responded to say you don’t need to tell him and leave it at that. He is clearly jealous about another man spending time with his child, but he is not owed any of this information.

Well as your DC father doesn’t he have a right to know if your new partner is seeing his children? I don’t get why that’s an issue- most basic coparenting rules agree that new partners have to ideally meet the parents before the DC or at the very least have to know who they are, how long you’ve been seeing them etc? Seems basic sensible child safety measures to me?

Blatant attempts to goad and control and insult you. And he sounds horrendously thick.
Your responses are fine. Don’t let him get to you. You can’t reason with unreasonable people.

Did you read the bit about the non-mol order at all?

OP why has this exchange come up now? Why hasn’t he seen DS again?

What do I think of your ex? Trying to control you, trying to use DS to manipulate you, bit thick.

He sounds controlling
He sounds thick
I notice he uses the term "my son" rather than "our son" or child's name, which seems possessive for a child he hasn't seen for 3 of his 4 year life
The phrase "you will regret..." sounds a bit like a threat

Tic for tac 🫠

Well done for shutting him down 🙌

Tic for Tac….how sweet !

I wish I could respond fully to why I’m thinking about this but it’s relevant to a lot of things happening today.

🤣🤣

🤣🤣

I hope you're safe, OP.

Your ex sounds nasty and controlling.

You're doing well, ignoring his goady and threatening messages.

Keep them as evidence. At this rate, there will be another non-mol issued.

Is your child all right? Is the father questioning the child about you and about your boyfriend?

Thank you for your reply.
Dc has a speech delay. He talks to me but ex struggled to get 2 words out of him so he wouldn’t have gotten any info. Dc hasn’t seen him since this day. But recently he contacted dc school to find out if he really goes there. School didn’t disclose. He also doesn’t know where we live so I do feel safe and relieved I never gave up that info.

We spoke about my partner months before and he was fine with an intro being something that would happen should we get engaged.

I would view exchange of that information and an arranged meeting between parent and new partner as a courtesy rather than a requirement.

With a reasonable and fair person I would (did) extend the courtesy. Otherwise, no none of their business.

Due to some other things happening around this time, I explained I wanted pickup and drop off to happen from contact centre. He refused but I don’t feel comfortable meeting. There’s recent developments that have made this relevant today. Wish I could say more now