Her mum was evil

[loveyoutothemoon]

So, I've read on here loads about advice to people regarding avoiding these types of men like the plague. Are most people in this situation a big banner of red flags?

Got chatting to a very talkative chap OLD. He seemed nice and then here comes the shitter "I have a daughter, but her mum was as evil as a person could be and I don't see her. Which is very sad and it's not something i like to talk about. as I'm sure you can understand. but as I say, it is what it is"

I don't know whether to reply and if I do, ask him what efforts he made to see her? If I saw a post from someone on here asking the same thing, I would be advising them not to make further contact. So, why am I even asking?

No, because he's either lying or massively exaggerating about his ex OR he's abandoned his only child and left her with someone who is "as evil as can be"

Either way, not a keeper

If the mum is ‘evil’ then you make double the effort to be in the child’s life. For obvious reasons.

I’m sorry OP, but your instincts are right.

Thanks, I agree, exactly. He has another daughter who he has contact with, seemingly a different mum.

Think the easiest thing would be to just unmatch.

Imagine if the conversation hadn't come up and I started dating him!

Nailed it

Go with your instincts.y abusive ex said similar about his ex before me and I fell for it. Now his current partner has made it clear she believes I’m an evil witch keeping his kids from him. I did try that initially but he took me to court got his court order that he used to reduce his maintenance now he hardly sees the kids and tells everyone it’s me. Tale as old as time, don’t fall for it

God I thought you were talking about getting chatting to an old man. So confused

You’re right, red flag central.

Also adding “it is what it is” to the end of that statement is crushingly grim of him

Thanks everyone. He also chose the option 'don't have children' on his profile 🤔 That's what prompted me to ask as he mentioned seeing his other daughter this weekend. Dodged a bullet there!

Ick. Sounds like someone I know who makes a lot of noises about his ex being manipulative and abusive and neglects the kids and that’s why he doesn’t see them. Erm.. shouldn’t it be exactly the reason you fight for them to live with you??!? Same bloke who effusively gushed all over social media about his wedding day being the best day of his life and his new DC the best baby in the world. I bet his existing kids will be chuffed to read all that when they grow up.

Totally dodged a bullet - and give yourself a pat on the back because what is obvious to most is sometimes less obvious to those who really, really want a connection. You have not compromised, you could smell the bullshit a mile off and you are not getting dragged into the ‘this will do’ lifestyle. You are fabulous and there will be a much better reward around the corner! All
power and much love to you! ❤️