No-fault divorce gives freedom — but who protects spouses from financial harm?

[husband64]

I’m living through the breakdown of my marriage, and it began in a way I never imagined. Years ago, a woman running a business hundreds of miles from home kept offering my wife money and partnership opportunities. I objected constantly because this caused long separations and left me acting as a single parent, but the inducements carried on for years. During that time, I was raising my stepsons (her children) and making major financial contributions to support our family.
The strain on our relationship grew until my wife had affairs and has now left permanently since the boys grew up. Of course, I feel betrayed by her. But I also feel anger toward the person who kept pulling at our marriage for their own gain, knowing the damage it would cause. I invested years of my life and tens of thousands of pounds into the family, and now it looks like I will have to pay for a divorce and risk losing my home.
Am I wrong to feel that I should be compensated by some of the third parties involved? Am I just whining, or should there be accountability for people who knowingly create the conditions that destroy families and leave spouses carrying all the financial harm?
There is nothing I have done that would traditionally be accepted as “fault” or cause for divorce. I accept that people have the right to leave a marriage — especially now with no-fault divorce. What I cannot accept is that secret affairs or third-party inducements can ruin a marriage and leave one spouse carrying devastating financial harm, with no recourse at all.
Until the 1970s, English law recognised the tort of alienation of affections, which allowed a spouse to claim against someone who deliberately interfered in their marriage. That remedy was abolished and never replaced. Strikingly, if a business contract is interfered with today, the injured party can sue for damages — but if a marriage is interfered with, there is no legal remedy at all.
That’s why I’m thinking about starting a UK Government petition, and I’d like to hear people’s honest views before I do.

Would you support a petition to protect spouses from financial harm caused by secret affairs or third-party inducement that leads to marital breakdown?

A third party can’t interfere in a happy marriage OP, the only person who owes you anything is the person you married. Your wife is the one who said yes.

I think a change in the law is what is needed to fairly recognise the contributions each party makes to the marriage and not allow for the “ financially weaker or less astute” party financially destroy the other party. I would completely support a petition as I’m going through a similar thing.

No. It was abolished in England and Wales, and is very infrequently brought in jurisdictions where it still exists, because it’s immensely difficult to establish, comprises a number of elements in order to be considered of merit, and there are a number of valid defences. It’s just extra fees to solicitors usually from ex-spouses who can’t accept their marriage is over and disagree with the financial settlement.

Don't waste your time on this. Focus on moving forward.

Even before no fault divorces there was no compensation for issues within the marriage.

Exactly how would your plan work?

Would you support a petition to protect spouses from financial harm caused by secret affairs or third-party inducement that leads to marital breakdown?

of course not!!

I disagree, I have documentary evidence to prove all my financial contributions including non financial contributions. Why shouldn’t such evidence be taken into account if presented? In my case my ex who earns 37500 per annum, has produced bank statements showing wanton frivolous expenditure. He pays no rent to his parents or any outstanding bills and has no savings whatsoever because he knows he stands to gain a payout from my assets.

While I understand where you’re coming from, most people can’t afford the legal costs and can you really put a number on your pain? Divorce is long without considerations like suing the affair partner and your spouse for infidelity. Most people want it all to be over quickly and at minimal emotional and financial cost.

That said what I think needs to be done is to make people who want to get married more aware of the legal pitfalls of marriage should they unknowingly marry scum or people who become scum. Marriage is not a financial investment. It should come with the same warnings and cautions that comes with investing in stocks and shares or gambling.

If you read the OP there was until the 70s. In some jurisdictions there still is.

That is not to say that it is necessarily a good idea, but it is possible to have a tort that would cover knowingly interfering in someone else's marriage in a way that significantly contributes to the breakdown.

I don't see this going anywhere and just wasting your time and effort.

It sounds like you need to accept you married a wrong'un and move on to find something in life that may make you happy.

EDIT: quoted wrong post! Meant to reference the suggestion of not suing for interference, but recognising and protecting what spouses bring to the marriage in certain circumstances.

This. Other countries in Europe recognise the contributions that each party brought to the marriage and allow them to leave with them. I was told recently that in Italy, people have the option to marry under different regimes, one which legally merges all assets (like the UK) and one which keeps them separate. The overwhelming majority of people (in my Italian friend's community, at least) choose the latter.

This one. The lack of this is keeping me legally and financially tied to someone who lives off me, runs up debt and doesn't contribute to our family or future plans.