Partner said that he’s work is he’s priority and he won’t let me work.

[CodieJ]

I work bank for the nhs and have another care job two days a week and I do what I can if available with having two kids age 1 and 5. I do absolutely everything and I mean EVERYTHING to do with our kids. Anyway I found a shift on a ward I usually work on 7pm to 7am, partner leaves for work at 7 but the ward I work on would happily let me go half hour earlier so I’m home for the kids to get them to nursery and school etc. partner said no I can’t work that because he leaves for work at 6:50am ( all of a sudden) and that I won’t be back in time, I know what it’s really about it’s about the night I am at work he’ll have to put both kids to bed and then in the morning as there both early risers he’ll have to get ready with both kids up ( I do it I don’t see the problem). ANYWAYYY I told him what’s what and that I’d be back in time but he’s still not having it we got into an argument and then he came out with “ well my job is my priority, and yours is the kids” I work and look after the kids as I’ve said. I honestly feel as though I’m in this on my own all the time he is literally obsessed with work.

ps
sorry this is all over the place I’m ranting and can’t get everything out in order that I want to 🙁

This is coercive and controlling behaviour and you can't accept it from him.

He’s a nob and it won’t get better and he’s clearly not prepared to change. I bet he also gets time to socialise and do stuff away from the family where you don’t?

He doesn’t respect you or think you’re an equal. It’s up to you whether you want a relationship with a man who thinks so poorly of you.

So he's a mysoginistic loser who is controlling and has literally flat out told you you are not his priority. And can't look after his own kids.

What's the point of this marriage exactly?
He sounds like the sort to play away too fyi. Heads up. He's checked out, he sees you as the help.

I'd be looking to leave tbh. Soon as possible. It's not like it would add to your workload if you're doing everything alone already. At least you'd not have to wash a grown mans pants anymore too.
Cut him loose!

Why would anyone, let alone your husband make your life deliberately more difficult?

Honestly. Make plans to leave. This is abusive toxic and selfish behaviour from him. Know your worth - you do not have to put up with it.

You’d be better off splitting and not having this extra child in your life. Less tantrums, less hassle, more peace.

Ask him how he’ll manage his time looking after the kids 50/50 if he stands his ground and you divorce him. What an absolute twat.

If you can leave I would - you’re already doing everything.

That can’t be true for you if you are not married. You need to work and pay into a pension. Because you are entitled to nothing from him.

Do you jointly own a property?

And yet I'm sure Mr 'I'm the big provider' doesn't pay all bills and let you keep your wage for yourself to do as you please. You need to leave OP, you shouldn't normalise this relationship to your children.

Agree with PP, my DH and I do not live in a fairytale and have our ups and downs, but we always go out of our way to make each others lives easier rather than harder

Take the shift. He’s financially controlling yoi.

Your partner is supposed to be your team.

Could you imagine ever being such a cunt that you would say to the mother of your two kids 'Well they are YOUR responsibility. Work is mine. I don't care if you work too. That's a you problem. I'm not interested in making your life less hard'. Because that's what he is saying.

That's what an enemy or a parasite says. Or, both.

Run! Fast and far.
And make sure the cunt gets 50/50 custody so he can't cop out on his father duties ever again.

Exactly this.

Oh op, this is awful, he is awful, I’m not even sure you realise how awful this is. You have made some mistakes, huge ones I’m afraid, they can’t be turned back, but what you can do is stop them getting any worse. Make plans to leave as soon as you possibly can.

Take the shift - you’ll be out so he’ll have to manage.
then take your time to reevaluate.