False allegations against Grandma

[TitaniumTess]

Hi,

My ex is a complete PITA. Was emotionally abusive.... Long story...

But..... He's convincing our son (aged 8) to tell school that my Mum is beating him up and I'm watching.... (when nothing has happened...)

The police know it's my ex being the problem not us. However the amount of emotional energy it takes in going around the 'school to police loop' is exhausting.

I'm seeing the GP this week for my son as I'm worried about my ex playing his head.....

My son and my Mum get on amazingly well and are really close. My son wants to see my Mum all the time.

I've also asked Family and Wellbeing to support my son.

What am I missing? I feel like I'm waiting for the next attack. My ex has been relentless for 5 years since I asked him to leave. We've got a lot of police logs. I just feel like I'm on red alert again.

Thanks xx

I’ve got nothing to offer except sympathy - that is awful.

@AimtodobetterThank you. My ex has done it a few times.

It's really hard to try to prove that something hasn't happened.... I've ended up sharing loads of holiday photos before now and mapping out an hour or so of time forensically. I worry about my son and my Mum.

He just never seems to stop xxxx

What are the police doing about his harassment and false accusations, has anyone suggested a restraining order and supervised access with your son. Are the family court involved in your sons welfare as there's been so much police input.

Hi,

@MissMoneyFairy the police just say to keep doing 101s....'keep logging....'

I did try to pursue 'Malicious Communications' with the police, but that went nowhere in the past.

We've been through Family Court. CAFCASS were woefully bad and ignored any police intervention.

I started a non-molestation application. Again, the court didn't seem supportive particularly so I pulled out with my ex agreeing to stop hassling me. xx

I'm so sorry, the ongoing stress of this must be awful for you, your son and your.mum. I would keep logging every incidence of harassment and false allegations with the police and possibly look into a therapist for your son, he must be dealing with a lot of conflicting emotions.

I hope you're managing to take some time for yourself too and offload to good friends. If you can, try some mindfulness and meditation, yoga or reflexology - all have helped me when dealing with prolonged periods of stress caring for my severely disabled adult son. You can't pour from an empty cup so prioritise getting a bit of relief from the stress for yourself too. Look after yourself lovely 💐

@EndofyearThank you. That's so kind. Xxx

I'm worried about my son"s head the most - the fact that his Dad convinces him to lie to school. He must feel so conflicted and if his Dad can, and is, getting him to do that, where else is he compromising him?

I'm hoping that Family and Wellbeing can provide support for us. xx

At this point I would stop contact. It’s emotional abusive and your son needs protecting from it. Let your ex take you to court and you can push for supervised contact. Your son, your mother and you are all victims of your ex’s behaviour. I do think continuing with every form of protection, including a non mol is the best way forward.

@dunroamingfornow we went to Family Court in 2023. They were very pro-Dad contact despite his less than ideal behaviour xxx

Is this a form of parental alienation? You could perhaps peruse that route.

Is this a form of parental alienation? You could perhaps peruse that route.