Got discarded after a year

[HeartbrokenGina]

It's been a couple weeks since this has happened but I still can't quite believe it.

We were together for just over a year. No arguments, everything seemed fine to me, he was talking about plans in the future with me. And then he decided to call me one day out the blue and tell me he realised he doesn't love me and end it.

I also was then quickly removed from all socials and forms of contact so I can't even message him to get some closure as to why on earth this has happened.

I've cried more than I thought I could and now I just feel numb. I just don't understand.

That's such a mean way to treat someone. He's shown you who he really is, unfortunately.

It’s heartbreaking when this happens, but he’s ended it and that’s all the closure you’re likely to get. He won’t tell you why so hopefully in time you’ll come to recognise that this was the kindest thing to do, rather than ghosting or cheating. This was him not you. So don’t assume you did something wrong.
Be kind to yourself until you feel more resilient and stay busy, it helps.

Guessing he met someone else but didn’t want to admit this.

There’s no point in contacting him even if you could. There’s no ‘why’ that he would be able to explain. He just stopped caring as much. I don’t know why men talk about the future and plans when in their hearts they are wanting to end things. I asked an ex once after I paid for a lovely minibreak which he enjoyed only for us to break up the following week as he ‘didn’t see us as a long term thing’. He said he was weak. He knew I was wanting long term commitment and, while not promising anything or verbalising anything he was definitely happy to go on holiday and spend every weekend with me. But inside he was just marking time til things came to a head as he was too weak to say he wanted out and too weak not to enjoy the sex and my company.
Just shut the door on it and move on. You deserve more.

He has given you closure by giving you the reason, you just need time to process it.

He did tell her why. He doesn’t love her.

OP wants to know why he suddenly realised he doesn’t love her. She won’t get that.

So sorry, OP. That sounds heartbreaking and confusing.

You will feel better soon.

Nasty thing to do. But if he can behave like this, he’s not a nice person so you’re better off out of it even if it doesn’t seem like it now. No point in trying to find away to contact him and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing you’re so upset. The speedy deletion of you from socials points to him moving on to someone else I’m afraid.

As @HoppingPavlova says. The reason he doesn’t love her now is because he’s met someone else.

It’s shitty but that’s life.

That may be someone else, there may not. Peoples feeling’s do change.
The only things I can see he’s done wrong is talking about the future and getting your hopes up.
He has decided the relationship isn’t right for him and so he has ended it. He hasn’t strung you along or been unfaithful (as far as we know). It is upsetting and you will be sad for a while.

Thank you everyone. I think because of the shock it's hit me much harder than other break ups. I wasn't expecting it at all. I appreciate your kind words. I just don't know how someone can do that.

The abrupt way he ended things suggests he may have someone else. He chose the coward's way out.
You deserve so much more than that!

He might not have met someone else. He might just have seen someone - a friend, or even someone he didn't know, with someone they really DID love and seen that the way they behaved and were was something that he just wasn't feeling. A sort of sudden realisation that he wanted to be able to have someone he felt that way about and it wasn't OP.

It's horrible and the shock makes you feel completely blindsided, but it's better than dragging out a relationship where one of you isn't really feeling it, just marking time.

But it's awful being dropped under almost any circumstances, so be kind to yourself, OP, and tell yourself that you were lucky he didn't string you along for years.

I would say he ended the relationship abruptly because he met someone else he liked better. There's always a possibility, the OP wasn't the only woman he's been seeing, and decided he preferred the other one. Regardless of why, it was a crappy way of ending the relationship. The only saving grace is that you now know what he's like, before you got even deeper involved.

Just because you didn’t argue and got on well doesn’t mean he loved you.

He obviously likes you or he wouldn’t have been meeting you, but when he realised the relationship didn’t have that certain something, perhaps chemistry or a spark, he was honest with you and told you that he didn’t love you.

As for cutting you off after it ended maybe he was upset because he did care for you as a friend and didn’t want to be sucked back in again.

Better to be told early on than for him to turn round years later and admit he didn’t really love you.

It’s tough, maybe he could have told you earlier and not brought up future plans, that is deceiving, but if by a year his feelings haven’t grown then he’s done the right thing sadly.

hope you feel better soon . He has shown who he is by blocking you. What a cowardly twat

I get that you are upset, that's normal. But I don't think he's done anything wrong and I certainly don't think he's a "cowardly twat" and all the other insults. He didn't love you and he didn't have to, surely you'd rather know now than after 3 years, or an engagement, or a baby. You don't need 'closure', he didn't want to be with you and he has told you so. Much better way than gradually withdrawing, being a dick or ghosting.

I had this exact thing happen to me - over the phone, said he'd never loved me, but this was when we were almost 5 years together. I was heartbroken for a long time, now I can see I'd a lucky escape. There was no other woman involved