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Adjusting to the grown up phase of your child’s life.

2 replies

AgentJohnson · 20/09/2025 19:54

So DD 18 has just asked my permission to stay at her bf’s. I said I’m not giving my permission because she doesn’t need it but I thanked her for letting me know she won’t be coming home tonight. She’s staying at home and cycling to uni every day because the student housing situation is so dire here in the Netherlands; nearly all of her secondary school mates are commuting to their respective universities.

Seven months ago I was having parent teacher conferences at school and now she’s in her second week of Uni. I swing between being incredibly proud of her independence and all round good eggness and feeling bereft that we are ships in the night. As a single parent without support, I have looked forward to this moment for a very long time but now I am here, I feel a bit lost. I’ve started making her a packed lunch most days, so I feel like I’m still parenting her. She finds this perplexing because three months ago when she was going to school, I made a point of not making her lunch.

So good people, how have you transitioned from this new phase in your and your child’s life?

OP posts:
Silvertulips · 20/09/2025 19:58

Take a deep breath breath, cross your fingers and hope you raised them well enough to fly and be safe.

Then you check out your local area, find new friends, hobbies, new job and live your life as she is.

Endofyear · 20/09/2025 22:51

I know how you feel - it's a weird feeling when they no longer need you for everything! I still make my son's favourite meals to entice them home, I will mention in passing that I'm making lasagne or curry or a roast on Sunday if they want to come over (they usually do!)

If you're still sharing a house, why not suggest a series on Netflix or whatever, that you can both watch together? You could take it in turns to make snacks and drinks and make it a regular evening in together. Or suggest a shopping and lunch day? Or a cinema trip?

I have lots of friends and a busy life but my adult kids are my favourite people and I still like to hang out with them when they have the time!

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