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Original poster

Am I wrong to be annoyed

28 replies

nursegirlfriend · 19/09/2025 11:38

So my bf (31) is having a boys night in a couple of weeks which I (35) am not invited to. Now normally that wouldn’t bother me however today I found out that the person arranging said boys night has invited other gf’s. When I brought this up with my bf, he defensively shouted me down saying that it wasn’t his decision to invite other gf’s and he knows nothing about it. My bf hasn’t offered to clarify the situation which leaves me feeling a bit pushed aside. Whenever I have tried bringing it up, my boyfriend looses his temper and says I’m accusing him of something. I don’t know what to do because I need answers and I’m not getting any. Do I message the friend myself and ask why I am not invited? Should I just leave it and sit at home by myself whilst they all go out?

OP posts:
FeistyFrankie · 19/09/2025 15:54

Super weird of him not to include you. If the other gfs are attending, it's completely reasonable to expect an invite as well.

OP I'd be inclined to wonder if someone in the group knows something about him, that he doesn't want getting back to you. And the simplest way to ensure that you don't find out, is to make sure you don't attend events this other person is at. The fact that he has also accused you of "suspecting" something is also indicative of a guilty conscience, imo.

Please ignore the bullies on this thread - there are lots of unkind commenters on mumsnet who love to bash the OP instead of looking at the bigger picture, or helping by offering empathetic suggestions.

GingerPaste · 19/09/2025 15:59

Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 12:04

'he defensively shouted me down'

'Whenever I have tried bringing it up, my boyfriend looses his temper and says I’m accusing him of something.'

I'd be more concerned about him dealing with a potential conflict situation by shouting down and loosing his temper rather than discussing your concerns.

Huge red flag as far as I'm concerned. You deserve better.

You don't say if you live together, but the fact that it's a boy's night in suggests that you don't. Either gather a group of friends together (male and female) and go out or get a few bottles of wine, some nibbles and have a girl's night in -preferably with your female friend's partners invited.

Personally I'd have walked if a BF had shouted me down and lost his temper when I asked a reasonable question.

Edited

Totally this. His ‘boys’ night out’ isn’t your biggest problem here.

Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 17:32

JadziaD · 19/09/2025 13:52

So it's not a boys night at all? It's a group of friends evening out, with both sexes. Are you friendly with these people or is it a case of they are a mixed group of friends, some of whom happen to be dating, who have been friends for 10000 years? DH has a group from his post-grad days who are mixed male and female and they get together and I am not invited, nor are other partners, except once a year or so. That's fine. Totally different if he went out with Max, Jack and Pete and Max and Jack's wives were invited.

My DH meets with his old school mates every year. To explain, he went to a public school in the SE. It's a long rather tortuous journey for us from the depths of the SW to Kent, but we go every year. All wives & partners are made more than welcome. The 'boys' go off for their society AGM, the WAGs tend to go to find lunch somewhere, then after a couple of hours we all meet up again for dinner. In the past it was pretty much only us older people, but the current Chair has encouraged younger people to join and it's lovely to have some young people join us - including this year some Upper 6th formers.

edited for typos - I may have missed some, if so, I apologise.

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