Can a divorced mid 40s woman have new relationships and if so how?!

[OctopusLover]

Will try and keep brief. Almost divorced and been separated from him for almost 3 years. Have 2 DC who I have most of the time so very little spare time and I work full time.
I feel pretty lonely, "friends" I do have are all in relationships and haven't exactly been there for me, especially recently when I was really struggling with my mental health. Thanks to some more antidepressants and losing some weight I feel better.
I just wonder how and if I will ever meet someone. I have no friends I can go out with and such limited free time. I would love some similar friends to go about with and to find a romantic companion. I just feel like I am going to be an old spinster and it makes me so sad 😪

Online is your friend. I reconnected with a boy I'd known (not very well) at school many years ago. We've been together for five years now. Not necessarily suggesting dating apps, but if you haven't got much spare time OL could be the answer.

Don't panic, perfectly possible. Decide how much of your limited free time you want to spend meeing new people, and get online and make some arrangements. I know online dating is a horror show for some people, I just have never found it so. I just think of it as an interesting real life documentary, people are weird, some of them are not for you, some of them will be. Take the pressure off yourself, you can meet someone at any age, there are plenty of good ones out there but you have to be in the ring!

Hey OctopusLover, I totally get how you're feeling. Balanciing kids, work, and mental health can make it
feellikethere'snotimeforanythingelse
It's great that you're starting to feel better and focusing onyour health. That can really open up
opportunities to meet new people-whether for friendships or somnething more
Maybe look into local groups or activities, like parenting meetupsor a fitness class. It can be a great way
to meet others who are in the same boat.
You won't be alone forever, even though it feels that way now. Thirngs can change, and you definitely
deserve love and support. Hang in there!

Do you mean like on Facebook? I reconnected with an ex boyfriend who I thought had feelings for me, and I atill felt something for him after years. It turns out he is totally emotionally unavailable, would absolutely use me just for sex but couldn't care less if he makes me feel like shit because of this 😰

Thank.you for your kind reply. 😊 I was going to try Internet dating, just scared that there are few nice men out there, especially after hearing stories on MN 🤣 But there are plenty of.people who find love online so it must work sometimes!

I’m not near my 40’s but I just wanted to say that I met my husband on Tinder. It can happen.

If you use Facebook I highly recommend the Burned Haystack Dating Method. Yes there are lots of awful losers but if you are ruthless with them you can find someone lovely. I did!

Unfortunately there genuinely is only a few. The majority of single men are not people who you would want to date 😅

There are decent ones yes, but it’s inevitable that you will have to filter through a ton of absolute losers to find them. I know this sounds negative but it’s the truth, and having this in mind beforehand is a good thing imo.

Thanks @Besttobe8001 I've not heard of Burned Haystack. Will have to check it out!

Trust yourself. If you feel in your gut something is 'off' with a man you meet on Internet dating, it probably is.
I ignored my gut this summer for 3 months.
But I'm still here and still using online dating and speaking to 2 guys.
Be ruthless in your filtering.Even then keep your eyes open as this guy got one over on me.

I do hope so op as im in a similar position to you! Theres a friendly group on facebook called The Adventure Singles and its not all about dating. They plan events to get single people together for fun all over the UK. No obligation to attend etc

I think it’s possible but you’d have to be lucky. My very scientific workings out: the dating pool: 80% rejected/divorced by wife (you’d have to be ok with whatever flaw caused the wife to have enough - you can usually spot this within the first few interactions) 10% not actually single, 10% normal-ish.

I work on the basis that women typically don’t leave good men (at our age) Some will obviously! But in the main these men have issues. It really depends on your tolerance.

This is my limited dating experience and thinking of the men I know / work with etc. The single ones are definitely single for a reason.

Good luck! 🤞

Im 40 with 2 kids and I’ve done the dating apps and yes there’s some weirdos but not all! I had fun going on dates and had a few kisses though I’m actually with someone I met in real life now.
its definitely possible! Joining clubs is another great way to meet people if you can do that around your kids I know thats not always easy I have extended family who help me.

Ladies I decided to join Tinder and this made me laugh... A guy said he had a phD so I asked what is and he goes "Pretty Big D*" God how did I fall for that one 🤣🤣🤣

Yes, you really need to try internet dating. I was 50 when my husband and I decided to separate, 51 when it actually happened. I started internet dating, and randomly the first guy I met was perfect. I know this is unusual, but 1.5yrs later, we are still besotted.

Where I live they have a dating event every month for different age brackets. You pay a fee and go along to mingle. There have been many success stories. If I became single again, I would definitely go along. Maybe there is something similar where you live?

That’s a line stolen from Friends 😂 (Pretty Huge Dick”).