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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've had to report him

2 replies

LeoLibra18 · 17/09/2025 23:41

After 3 and a half years of an awful abuse cycle with my ex. I've finally spoke up and reported him of everything he did and said to me throughout the whole time. I'm worried about the consequences if the police or our workplace don't take this seriously but I'm at tipping point. To the point where I've reached out to the doctors for support.
I've emailed the timeline of events to HR and sent it electronically through a reporting system. I have an appointment on Friday with the police via phonecall and I have asked for an injunction.

Not sure how hard they are to award but I need to try and get this man far out my life so he can stop manipulating and stalking me.

It's hard because I feel guilty about how... "It's not that bad" , "at least he didn't slap me or punch me" but then I snap out of it and think "I've never punched holes in the walls? Or smashed my phone up out of temper" "I've never hacked computers and phones and emails at work" "I've never followed anyone home or lingered around just to be seen and intimidated anyone"

Lots of minor things and over 3 years, I don't even recognise the person I am anymore, I'm scared of everything, scared of upsetting anyone, so isolated and alone and miserable.

I just don't know what to do. I just thought I'd throw some words onto mumsnet. Maybe someone has a similar story?/ Words of encouragement? "You're worth more" and all that ☹️

OP posts:
Yellowcakestand · 17/09/2025 23:52

Good for you. Stay strong. Lean on people for support. Its so so hard to follow these things through but you are brave to do so. I reported mine 3x. Dropped charges 2x. Pressed on the last time. I was told I was making out like he was a woman beater by his family. He had never hit me no but lots of other physical, verbal and psychological abuse, coercive control.
Be proud of yourself and be careful x

TheBaneOfLife · 18/09/2025 00:01

Please look into getting a non molestation order in the mean time, you can apply for this yourself and there will be a DV charity that can assit you to obtain it if you need guidance. If hes arrested, police can set bail conditions and court can issue a restraining order at sentencing if hes charged but this all takes time

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