Meeting gone wrong, ended in a break up

[Iwantotalk]

Hi everyone. A very long post so I apologise.

Me and my boyfriend had planned to go out last Wednesday. When he got on the bus, he told me to get ready. Thankfully, i was already dressed. I decided to call a taxi via FreeNow (Not the first time i did it) because i didnt want him to wait me long if i took the metro .

He got stuck in traffic near a well known hotel of the my country and asked me what I was going to do so that he would know what to do and not wait for me. I said i called a taxi if he could wait. He informed that he was close and i got anxious because i still struggled to find an available taxi due to high demand. He asked why i would take a taxi, and explained to him so that i cound be there faster. He didn’t reply for 4 minutes, no problem. I also informed him that i couldnt find a taxi and waited for him to answer so that we can both arrange what to do. I waited about 20 minutes before deciding to go home (I know...too immature and im ashamed). I know that only it was not only immature of me to do such a thing, but also I could just sent him another message or call him.

He replied only after 47 minutes in total, "Yes, I understand ❤️,” casually and indifferently. I was mad, really mad but didn't want to argue with him (we did anyways) so i mirrored his mood. 42 minutes (purposely..again immature) i answered "“We can arrange another time ❤️❤️❤️" He answered "And you didn't tell me earlier. Thank goodness i didnt wait you longer". I got shocked. I didn't expect this. I told him my own point of view but he didnt answer. He posted 30 minutes later a song on Instagram and messaged him again to talk. He didn’t reply for 11 hours. The next morning I messaged him again, and he responded angrily "That's bullshit", "I waited you for 1 hour", "Get serious" and "I dont want to continue anymore. Lets cut it off here". My last message was "I want us to talk" a week has passed and he hasn't answered, while he is active on Instagram, and TikTok.

Opinions? Is it only my fault? Are we both at fault? Was it a serious reason to break up?

You both sound very immature and I'd expect you to be with someone new or back with each other within a week.

The way you remember how many minutes of every part of this drama is bizarre

This is a very bizarre post. I have no idea what you were both angry about 🤷‍♀️ would it not have been easier to actually speak to each other rather than sending cryptic and sporadic messages? Is this really how people conduct a relationship? 😳

Are you both 12??? Neither of you are ready to be in a relationship. You have the communication skills of a wasp.

I have absolutely no idea what has just happened. You've only been perfectly clear about the exact minutes.

I think if you both cannot communicate together well regarding meeting up, then you aren't compatible.

Is this instance typical of your relationship?

Presumably English is not your first language - do you and he speak the same language fluently? I can't really work out what's gone on, I'm afraid.

It sounds like OP was trying to get there on time so ordered a freenow taxi, but the taxi wasn’t available due to high demand and in that time her boyfriend had arrived at the meeting place.

She eventually told him she couldn’t find a taxi and asked him what they should do and he didn’t reply immediately . So after 20 minutes of silence she made a unilateral decision to abandon their plans and go back home.

Then a while after that he finally texted back to say yeah sure that’s fine if they meet another time. OP then deliberately took a long time to reply as well. Then he snapped at OP for not stating she couldn’t come earlier.

OP then replied to explain and he sent her some angry texts the next morning and has been ignoring her since.

@Iwantotalk just let it go, there was some miscommunication on both sides but he has decided to end it so leave him be. He has been ignoring you for a week so out of respect for his wishes and for yourself you should walk away and move on.

Neither of you handled it brilliantly but I think he was worse as it seems he started the pattern of extremely delayed replies. When you’re in the middle of trying to meet up with someone they should respond promptly.

If he was waiting for you but took almost an hour to reply to your text telling him you couldn’t find a taxi, it sounds deliberate. I mean he must’ve looked at his phone during that time.

By the time you’re counting the minutes between replies, acting in a petty manner by deliberately not replying to a message until a certain time has passed and refusing to actually just call and talk and make a plan out of some weird power struggle, your relationship is a joke and it’s a good thing it’s over.

Honestly just grow up and communicate with the person you’re dating about the plan and any changes to it…. Life is too short for game playing and power plays and trying to make someone else chase you.

I think that’s unfair to wasps. I was going with the communication skills of a bar of soap.

😂

Maybe next time arrange a time and a place to meet so it won't be so complicated?

It's a small reason to split up but I assume you haven't been together long and aren't very serious.

The time the message is sent will be shown in the messaging app?

It seems incredible doesn’t it.

Assuming they’ve at least kissed in this relationship, neither could use their mouths to talk to the other on the very same device they were messaging

I wonder how many minutes the OP plans to wait before re engaging with her post.

Op Re the actual post you both sound immature and breaking it off makes him the more mature one IMO

😂😂

You must have to get to other places by certain times, appointments etc. once you are in a new relationship just apply the same strategy to meeting them as you do for getting to an appointment on time.

If the OP couldnt find a taxi, where did she go back to?

I don’t know, I had undergraduates in the immediate post-Covid era who appeared overburdened by the tasks of getting to a particular seminar room for a particular time, with the appropriate text, having done the reading. They looked exhausted with the strain of it all before the class even started.