I was in a long term relationship for 3 years. He became a stepdad to my children, and we had a nice life. Until he lost his job and lost himself with poor mental health, he left when he had been out of work for 3 months, he had no money, and wasn't even getting washed some days.
I've since found out that he was talking to another woman before he left. Who he monkeybranched onto. He wasn't just talking to her; an ex of his contacted me, telling me she had a brief fling with him years before me, and strangely, he had reached out asking her if she thought he was handsome. She said Look at your gorgeous partner shouldn't that tell you, your worth. Clearly, he was struggling with internal issues of worth.
Anyway, he left. He moved into a not very nice house share. I was devastated, and I knew nothing about the woman he ended up with until months later. He left in May 23 and by October he was at my door crying, saying he missed me, that his mental health was still rubbish and that he stood on a local bridge and thought about jumping, he spent the night and we had intimacy, the next thing I know the other woman gets in touch asks me if I had been with him, I said yes and next thing I know I'm getting the police at my house telling me they were investigating reports that I'd been harrasing him. I had no contact with him until the night he turned up. Turns out he had been struggling to pay his rent, and he was spending time with her, and ended up moving into her council house.
The other woman was trying to create a wedge to cling to him. I called him and asked what the hell was happening, and within seconds, I'm getting abuse by email from this other woman telling me to stay the hell away from him or she will ruin my career. I tried calling him a few weeks later, and the same thing happened. Months later, when I had not even had contact with him, she emailed me 60 times one night and did the same thing months later, and months later repeated it.
I'm a counsellor, so I didn't want trouble, and I thought I couldn't be told I can't contact someone I do love. It messed with my head a lot . Yet this woman had grabbed onto him so tightly and was not going to let me get near him. I got on with my life, still knowing I loved him. It's been 18 months and now hes got in touch and wants to meet me, and sent messages about missing our passion.
I don't have social media yet, I got my friend to check his Facebook, and it says hes still with that woman.. I know it seems like hes clawing back control of his own life by even getting in touch - yet I don't want drama in mine, yet I love him, and hes said he has feelings for me. Yet I know this woman could make my life hell. What would you do? I feel she's kept him away long enough, yet she won't take it lying down if she found out that hes even contacted me. Let alone if I see him. Hes 43 and not a child, yet she seems slightly crazy and possessive. and very volatile.
My mum is really worried as the other woman even contacted my mum on social media, and even then, my mum said she is crazy michelle, and that she hopes he gets the hell away from that woman.
Anyway, so far all we have done is message, and I've told him he was being controlled so tightly and hes not defended her. Our relationship was honestly lovely, the best one I've ever had. Yet it's all caused me a lot of hurt and a lot of inner turmoil. I do think he left as he didn't feel good enough, yet he was good enough for me, and I do know I still have feelings for him.