Why tell her he’s unfollowed her?

[Solange66]

So my husband was friends with a woman from work on Instagram. He’s never mentioned her before (unlike everyone else he works with) and said that she asked to follow him so he followed her back. He's got form on messaging other women, so i asked him to unfollow her on Instagram/FB - which he duly did. A few days later, he told me (although he 'doesn't know her and never sees her' ) that he's told her that he's unfollowed her. I find this odd behaviour - thoughts ? BTW - he's since decided we should split up as he's 'better off living on his own'. You really couldn't make it up !!

Wow, that's quite a reaction and looks very suspicious. How long have you been married?

Well I think you have got your answer OP. He obviously wasn't being truthful when he said he didn't know her.

We’ve been together for 24 years. Married for 16. She’s at least 20 years younger than him and married with children. He told my daughter that she was ‘attractive’ and can’t understand why it would bother me though. When I think about other things that he’s done, I know how stupid I’ve been to put up with his nonsense. But he gaslights me and makes me doubt myself unfortunately!

"BTW - he's since decided we should split up as he's 'better off living on his own'. You really couldn't make it up "

shouldn't this be the topic here and not instagram and following and unfollowing people?

Yes it really doesn't look good, does it. People here often say men don't leave without somewhere else to go. What a mess. It sounds like you might be better off without him, even if it's painful? Would you be financially ok on your own?

I'm biding my time because I put far too much trust into my DH and have very few personal resources at the moment. I hope you're in a better situation than I am.

Who can be arsed with a relationship like that anyway? You’re better off out of it.

I asked about the following thing as I’m questioning myself as to whether I was overreacting to him saying he told her he’d unfollowed her. It just seemed weird - I wouldn’t tell someone I’d unfollowed them..I’m assuming there must be more to it as he must have thought she’d be bothered by it ? It was this conversation that prompted him to say we should split up.

if he is willing to spit because of such a minor issue, you have more things to worry about,

Trust me, there is something else morethan this. You may find out, you may not but believe me, there is a bigger issue behind his statement so do not blame yourself or this minor issue

Was he saying he would be better off on his own because you have form for telling him who he can and can’t follow?
How did you know about them following each other, it does seem strange to tell you, given your reaction.

This is his usual way of responding when I’ve found out about something he’s done - like inviting a woman round to our house when he was drunk and I was away. He was messaging her to start off with but didn’t tell me as he knew I wouldn’t like it as this has happened before. (Messaging another woman who happened to be my good friend!). He told me that he’d unfollowed the woman at work because I told him I didn’t like it. But he then told me that he’d told her (the woman at work) that he’d unfollowed her. Which I found odd. Just as I start to trust him again, something like this happens. It’s exhausting.

He's got form for messaging other women and invited a woman to your house while you were away? And you're still with him??

We’ve been together a long time. We’ve been through a lot together and have a child (now at uni though). I wish I didn’t love him as I wouldn’t choose this for any else. I was looking for reassurance that it is weird to tell someone that you’ve unfollowed them as he’s made out that it’s perfectly normal. I need to stick to my guns now and not let him wheedle his way back into us staying together. I get creeping doubts but I can see that he manipulates me to get his own way.