I get this, totally. I experienced a completely different upbringing to my cousins on my dad’s side (and my mum’s side), which was full of neglect and abuse. My dad was convicted for some of that abuse, and when I outed him to the family, nobody wanted to know.
His mother (my grandmother) was pretty abusive, as well. She strongly disapproved of his marriage to an older woman with children (my half siblings), she was awful to said siblings as a result, and she was witnessed assaulting my grandfather in front of his colleagues at work. I only know about that because my step-grandfather on my mum’s side worked at the same place and saw it happen. I’m pretty sure none of my cousins know about it (whoops!).
Some of the cousins have grown up to be entitled and snobby, the same could be said for my dad’s sisters and brothers. I lived with a sister at one point, and she psychologically abused me to the point I didn’t want to be here anymore.
Because my parents are the worst, I also have no relationship with any of my siblings. I have always been made to feel ‘less than’ them. My parents also made baby me (a new half sibling that none of the older siblings wanted), an inconvenience to my older siblings. They’ve never been particularly warm to me since. (I am now estranged from both parents).
I’ve tried hard to ‘fit in’ (easier said than done, especially since I’m neurodivergent), but there was only so much rejection I could take.
I also couldn’t forgive my grandmother for her behaviour, and our relationship was completely at odds with all the other cousins who thought the world of her.
I’m not sure if I could ever relate or have a relationship with them.
Nowadays, my priority is raising my own children to understand what a healthy family relationship looks like. Going no contact where it was needed has helped a lot, and my husband and his family give our children all the love they need. I’m very lucky, in that regard.