Dh and I have been married for 20 years. We have two children; one 18 and about to goto uni and one nearly 16 who has severe autism and learning disability etc.
I gave up work (I know) when ds was two as his needs were apparent and we couldn't manage the appointments, lack of nursery support, fighting for services etc.
We've been mostly happy and had a good life together until recently (last year or so)where it's started to go sideways then today it was clear that he doesnt respect me. I can't believe I've only just come to this conclusion now.
When we first got together his parents were awful to me. I'm sure i was just as bad in return. Dh eventually called them out on it and told them he'd cut them off if things didn't change. They simmered things got to a point where we mostly tolerated each other on occasions.
Today his dad asked me if I knew how many legs were on an insect and how many on a spider and not in a joking way. Dh said nothing, I asked how thick he thought i was and then simmered until we left as it was infront of both children.
There are other things that have happened in the last year or so but this was the crunch. I'm at a bit of a loss what to do now. Dh didn't even understand why I was upset.