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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling resentful in my marriage – what do I do?

1 reply

Hihellogoodbye · 14/09/2025 19:11

I’ve been married 15 years this year, and we have a 9-year-old DS.
Recently, I’ve noticed myself becoming increasingly resentful towards DH because of the lack of support.
He doesn’t earn enough for me to go part-time, so I work full-time. On top of that, I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, tidying, school runs, booking afterschool clubs, feeding/looking after our 14-year-old dog (who needs daily treatment), and I even arrange my work lunch break around DS’s school pick-up.
DH works full-time, and beyond that he’ll occasionally walk the dog (if I ask) or do the washing up once in a while, but that’s really it.
Our sex life is non-existent (he can’t anymore), which adds to my frustration. We never have money because the bills and debts swallow everything. We bought a house 5 years ago that needs work, but we can’t afford it and DH shows zero interest in even doing small, low-cost improvements.
He leaves his clothes on the floor, never makes the bed, and never takes charge of anything other than his job. If I raise it with him, there’s a short-lived improvement for about a week, and then it all reverts.
I feel unhappy, stuck, and fed up with the daily grind. I don’t feel I can leave because I don’t want to break DS’s home, but I also don’t want to carry on like this forever.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you move forward? Is there a way to shift things in my marriage or do I just need to accept this is how it is?

OP posts:
MorriganNorns · 14/09/2025 23:28

It's rough mama and completely valid. The lack of sex life is frustrating for sure but also something that's pretty common with too much porn use. Is it possible to downsize your home and go back to being renters so that's one less thing to be stressing over?

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