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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Apps - what am I doing wrong?

2 replies

PeachFawn · 14/09/2025 16:56

I am 40 and going through a divorce that has been taking a long time to go through. After dating a couple of people and having some bad experience, I have been back on Bumble and Hinge to try again.

I am finding it soul destroying. I am well educated and have a good and well paid professional job in the city. No suggestion that I am a knock-out but I look after myself and did modelling when I was younger so I would have thought some men would think I was alright. I seem to get a lot of matches and a lot of initial nice complements etc but then I just always seem to get ghosted. Sometimes I can be in the middle of a great chat and they will just un-match me or men will reply but not ask any questions etc so the conversation dies immediately. No one ever asks me out on a date.

I keep reading these articles that there are far more men on apps and they are really struggling to get matches / dates yet I can seem to find any that are interested in me.

What is going on and what might I be doing wrong?? Please help me!

OP posts:
blankcanvas3 · 14/09/2025 17:00

from what my friends have said - it’s basically just a numbers game. for every 100 people you match, you will speak to 20 of those, and maybe go on dates with 2 or 3 of them. do you have any friends who could check your profile for you and give you recommendations?

Lollytea655 · 14/09/2025 17:12

blankcanvas3 · 14/09/2025 17:00

from what my friends have said - it’s basically just a numbers game. for every 100 people you match, you will speak to 20 of those, and maybe go on dates with 2 or 3 of them. do you have any friends who could check your profile for you and give you recommendations?

This, unfortunately.

Some people are just on there for an ego boost or a flirt, some are just after a shag, some want a date for a free weekend, very few are actually on there looking for a relationship and of those that are you’re then having to wade through the shit to find someone who fancies you & who you fancy back. It is a total numbers game as well as luck.

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