Are there any good books about relationships between teenage girls and step mums? Or any good research p mums

[Allthefruit]

DD is nudging towards her teens and suddenly is ranting about her step mum all the time
They always got on well, I get on well with her step mum. She may do things differently from me in some ways but I have a lot of respect for her.

I had the same happen with my step DD when she was a teen, we got on well when she was 8-12 (I met her dad when she was 8) and then there were some tricky years when my mere existence seemed to engage her, and now she's finishing her teens we get on really well.

I just wonder if there's something going on developmentally/psychologically that helps make sense of it?

And do I just let DD rant? Do i try and help look at it from her step mums perspective? How would you approach this? I don't want to be like DSD mum who seemed to get a thrill from the sudden change in dynamic.

(Dd was a baby when I left her dad hence the ages. he was abusive to me, I do worry what he is like with her step mum. )

Sorry about the typos in the title! My phone was being weird

I didn't have a step mum but we did have an au pair for a couple of years who, looking back, was perfectly nice but I just remember focussing all my teenage rage and confusion on her and blaming her for all sorts of things. I really regret that now

What are the things your DD is ranting about? If you think DD is being unreasonable, I would gently and calmly challenge her and remind her of good things that her stepmother does, for example buying DDs favourite foods when she's there, giving lifts etc. I think it's normal for teens to push back against the adults in their lives as they become more independent and develop their own ideas. But I wouldn't condone rude or unreasonable behaviour and I hope that her father would pull her up on it also.

I don't think DD is rude. I think she just quietly absorbs things and then rants when she gets back to me. (Partly because her dad is a very domineering character)

It's things like her step mum buying own brand versions of certain things from Aldi when DD likes the version I buy. Or her step mum buying her a dress she felt was babyish.

But it seems these little things make her feel her step mum is somehow mean or nasty, whereas before she accepted differences in how we did things and kept them in proportion.

She's not an ungrateful child, it just feels like her step mum can't do anything right and I'm wondering if there's something about that dynamic that teenage girls find hard and whether there are any books that help make sense of it