Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To suspect he’s lying

7 replies

D4zed · 13/09/2025 21:40

My partner played an away rugby game today, the match was 1.5 hrs from our home and he travelled on a coach with the rest of his team.

We had an argument last night which we only resolved this morning after a lot of tears and talking. Before he left he said he would come straight home after his game so that we can enjoy the evening together, and I felt this was important given yesterday evening was not one of our best. Also, I am working tomorrow up until Friday next week so we have very limited time together (I do a mixture of shifts) and some time to be together this evening would have helped us to reconnect.

So, at 17:30 this evening he messaged saying he was on his way back on the coach and they had just stopped at a service station.
he then doesn’t walk through the door until 20 minutes ago and he is very drunk, slurring his words. The drinking can be explained though as I know they usually will have beers on the coach after a game. I asked him why he was so late and he said he doesn’t know, but he has came straight home. When I ask how a 1.5 hour journey took almost four hours, he cannot answer me but insists he came straight home as he promised he would. I am so annoyed because clearly this is a lie and I really cannot stand lies no matter how small or big they are.

I don’t know how to get him to just admit that he’s talking absolute rubbish? It’s the feeling of not being able to express my disappointment because according to him he’s done nothing wrong. How do I know if he’s lying to me? I feel like I’m going insane and being paranoid.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 13/09/2025 21:41

Where was he travelling from & too lots of heavy traffic but he could be lying.

D4zed · 13/09/2025 21:43

We live in Devon and the match was also in Devon. He didn’t mention anything about traffic.

OP posts:
Shortdaysalready · 13/09/2025 21:44

Are you friendly with any of the wive's or partner's of the other team members?
You could try casually asking them whether their other halves came home very drunk and what they said they'd been up to.

summitfever · 13/09/2025 21:45

I’d wait until the morning for a sober account and take it from there. You’ll never get sense out of a steaming guy I wouldn’t bother trying.

Gymbunny2025 · 13/09/2025 21:48

If he was going to get drunk on the coach anyway why would you want to spend the evening with him?!

Lighteningstrikes · 13/09/2025 21:55

Honestly wait until he’s sober.

You’re completely wasting your time questioning him and you will end up more upset and frustrated.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 14/09/2025 11:50

yep. stop fighting for some kind of 'truth'. Devon's a big county and a coach of rugby blokes .. sounds like it's a predictable ending .. so maybe unrealistic of you both to think it wouldn't end up with a drunken partner (unless i'm completely stereotyping).

Book/plan something nice for you both another time.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page