Dating apps

[ChasingRainbows123]

Have known people find partners on dating apps.
Have given it a try.
I feel like the ugliest woman on the planet.
Not even had one date.
Men chat then just dissappear.
Has anyone else found this with online dating ?
Lovely to hear your success stories.
I'm obviously not attractive to these men & there's better out there for them.
I'm focusing on my work, hobbies, friends gym & my kids & dogs now

It's really hard. I've chatted to lots, only resulted in one person I've met with face to face. There have been a couple where I really thought we were getting on then they just disappear. It's a tough gig.

I don’t think it’s you at all - DD is young (21) smart, funny & very attractive, she has had the very same problems as you, few that chat and no dates. It is very much the way it is with dating apps. With a combination of DD trying to weed out the timewasters and the guys just using them as entertainment it leaves her with nothing.

No advice really OP, but please don’t think it’s because of you x

Same problem. I have a public presence and men are interested in me through, there so I know it’s not that I’m totally repulsive to men. But I get no dates on old. I don’t know how it works for anyone but I expect they spend a lot of time on it and really put themselves out there.

Same here. I’ve had 4 dates in the last year, all with total time wasters unfortunately

I was very fortunate and met my husband through a dating app after only 3 weeks. This was pre covid though, and I’ve heard OLD has become much more difficult in recent years. The last 3 weddings I attended, all the couples met on tinder. It can happen!

When I read threads like this, and there’s many, I think I must be either very arrogant/or hopefully just confident. It wouldn’t occur to me to think there was something wrong with ‘me’ in this same situation. Just that I’m not what they’re looking for for whatever reason and that’s fine.

Online dating is treacherous to say the least!! I got to the stage you’re at now for sure! They either just want one thing or just disappear after what you perceive as a decent conversation. It sounds like you’ve got good look support network so share your experiences over a glass of something with friends and have a giggle. Get their opinion on potential matches aswell. I got so wrapped up in online dating at one stage but I found I relaxed about the whole online dating thing when I took the pressure off myself in not doing it alone. I’m a big believer in the saying there is a lid for every pot but unfortunately it’s not as straight forward as going to dunelm🤦🏻‍♀️

I met my husband on tinder 8 years & sounds like online dating is just as brutal. It took some disappointments and shockingly awful dates to finally meet someone genuine. I know a lot of couples who met online, unfortunately it’s just a case of filtering out the bad matches first.

All the best!🩵

Do you ask them if they want to meet up? Or are you waiting for them to ask you? I personally don’t like to chat to people for ages as its so hard to get a sense of what they’re actually like, so if I’m keen on someone I will just ask them if they’d like to go for a drink.

Why would they chat to you at all if they didn’t find you attractive? I don’t think it’s you at all! It can just be brutal. I did online dating and met my current partner after 2/3 weeks on the site. We’re still together 2 years later. I had many men chat to me before him and some you can tell just want one thing. I had one completely ghost me out of nowhere. Some who were lovely men but just weren’t for me so I did the disappearing (so I’m not one to talk really). I would try not to take it too seriously or take it personally. I wasn’t expecting what I found but it can happen!

It's not you at all. I'm confident that I'm a pretty descent person, I'm not massively beautiful but OK enough that people can find me attractive and my personality is on point.
Ive been OLD for 2 years and have only had dates with 6 people (and the max dates with one person was 3)
It's just that the whole set up is very disposable. Everyone has access to a massive pool of people which means there are numerous options so people don't need to make effort as there'll be someone else along soon enough.
Many men I've chatted to are clearly on there for a casual set up because there is so much option, they just don't say that and will imply it's a relationship they want.

I'm also a type to ask them out for a coffee and not wait for them, but the number of people on MN who will say that means they don't really like you is huge. The consensus from most is that if they like you then they'll ask so if you've had to ask them then they don't care.
I don't agree with that but seems I am in a minority.

Id just say strap in, keep taking regular breaks, don't take it to heart and make sure you are doing things outside of it like seeing friends, hobbies etc. And then it's pure luck if you cross paths with someone that fits.

Thanks for all your replies.
It is brutal on the dating apps & I've been on for a while now without not even 1 date.
So I've just accepted I'm obviously not what people are looking for & musnt be attracted to me in the pictures.
So I'll just focus on keeping busy with other things.

Try asking a friend to help with crafting your profile?

Already asked a friend to do that.
I've just accepted that after being on the dating app a while not even one date that I'm not what the men are looking for or attracted too

@ChasingRainbows123 i wouldn't think in that manner at all. I've not had a date since February, but that doesn't mean men aren't attracted to me.
You have to think of the men in online dating as this big lake of fish. 80% of the fish want casual sex so unless you are openly saying that's what you want or they think they can fool you into it then they won't bother with a date. Of the 20% left ¼ will be looking for a particular age, ¼ a particular physical attribute, ¼ you probably don't fancy at all and then you are left with ¼ who you might match with. Half of those will have different morals or life goals and then of that big pool you are left with like 2%. And at that point you have to cross paths on the apps, match, be in the right mindset to make the right conversations.
When people say it's pure luck we aren't lying. It's not to do with you not being attractive at all.
I know some women who are the most gorgeous people with amazing personalities, far better options than me as they are also 15 years younger and they aren't getting dates either.
You need some thick skin for this online stuff, you really do.
You haven't even got to the 2 dates then ghosting, the asking you to be their girlfriend and then never responding again..... It can be much worse when you've actually had the dates.

Thanks everyone for your advice.
I came off the dating app.
I'm obviously not what people are looking for & that's why not even one date.
Final insult on it was when a man sent a message with Morning ugly lady.
Dating apps work for some people & there are success stories. It was a failure for me.
I'm just focusing on my work, kids, gym & doing things with friends

Thanks everyone for your advice.
I came off the dating app.
I'm obviously not what people are looking for & that's why not even one date.
Final insult on it was when a man sent a message with Morning ugly lady.
Dating apps work for some people & there are success stories. It was a failure for me.
I'm just focusing on my work, kids, gym & doing things with friends

That creature who sent that message is a poor excuse of a man OP. Don't let the dick splash spoil your day.

My god, what an ugly man with ugly game, I bet he read some manosphere text that taught him negging. There are these awful gurus that teach men to hurt women in order to take them down a notch and make them drop their standards. What an ugly man. I firmly believe beauty is about chemistry and personality.

Yes you must be very confident.
Your right in your thinking that if you were in this situation you would think your not what they're looking for.
This is obviously the reason I've been on dating app all this time & not even one date. I obviously don't appeal to anyone & I'm not what anyone on there is looking for.