This guy is saying I'm not faithful to him, but we are not in a relationship?

[OneGladEagle]

I don't understand this. He and I are friends with benefits; we have never been in a relationship. And he even said we were not exclusive, that we were just casual. Now he is bringing up how I am not faithful to him because I told him I went on dates with other men. I don't get it. Am I missing something here? I did meet his mother, but he still has been saying we are just casual. He even said we were not sexually exclusive, but now he's talking about how he even said it was ok if i dated other men, but now I am not faithful?

What do you want? Why are you letting him call all the shots?

Fine words butter no parsnips. He might have said that, but he was never actually expecting you to do it.

Dents his male pride you see - you're supposed to be so bowled over by his marvellous performances in bed that you would have no need to look anywhere else.

He has sex issues in bed this is all a lot.

He is a head fuck. A friends with benifits shouldn’t be this complicated.

Well, you aren’t faithful to him are you?

What he’s saying isn’t wrong, but the intention behind it is odd. Of course you aren’t faithful to him, you aren’t exclusive. Is he trying to shame you for exploring romantic relationships within the boundaries you’ve set?

A friend with benefits who has sex issues. Now I’ve heard it all!

Do you also have a chauffeur who can’t drive?

Some men like the idea of non exclusive casual sex because they inagine that they will have the freedom to have as much sex as they want with as many women as they want.

Some men will also say that they are OK with a woman doing the same but also imagine that women are naturally monogamous and less interested in sex so whatever sex she is getting from him will be enough for her and she is less likely to seek out sex elsewhere.

It then comes as a bit of a shock to them when a) getting more sex isn't as easy for them as they imagined and b) when the woman takes the "We're not exclusive" line at face value.

I assume OP wants to be in a relationship with him (i understand that) and that’s why she’s not answering what SHE wants, just looking for signs he wants that too.

from what you’ve posted OP- I’d say he’s messing you about. If he really is only a casual sex option why aren’t you just walking away? Or running, considering the sex is terrible 😂

Bin

Honestly I'd immediately disengage from this man. There is nothing in it for you!

He's bad in bed
He is jealous that you might be seeing other men
That is pretty textbook red flag controlling behaviour
His mum is weird
Maybe he told her you're a couple
Maybe she desperately wants him to find someone

Who knows? It is all a lot and it is a list of things that are in no way joyful or fun, and they all seem to land on you to think about. Just tell him you're not on the same page and give it no more thought.

He has spent a lot of money on me and gave me a lot of stuff, but still.

I think this too reading between the lines. Otherwise she’d be telling him to get to fuck.
The fact she keeps mentioning his mother and that she likes her.

No, I liked how things were between us I wasn't trying to be in a relationship with him.

Then why are you wasting time meeting his mother and accepting gifts etc? For a start it’s probably giving his mum some kind of idea that you’re a couple.

So what?

What did you like? The shit sex?!