My boyfriend and I (both 27) have been together for almost 8 years and lived together for 6. He's a very sweet guy and we have a lot of fun together when we spend time together. However, I've been feeling for the past couple of years or so that the relationship has changed and we don't spend much time together and he hasn't been very affectionate. It seems that he's been much more pessimistic and quick to anger and I believe a lot of it stems from frustrations at work. Three years ago my younger sibling died in an accident and I have worked very hard to be a happy, positive person to heal from the tragedy of this event so pessimism is hard to deal with.
We have also previously had issues about how he doesn't help around the house unless he's asked which makes me feel like a nag. He always assures me things will change and he will be more vigilant, and they do for a while, but inevitably it stops. I don't think this is malicious at all, I just think he's a naturally lazy and forgetful person despite being highly intelligent and successful. Normally, I can pick up the slack and do the cleaning and shopping even though I work full time and attend a Masters program. But this past year I've had some health challenges and my chronic pain has made it difficult for me to pick up the slack like usual. He's nice and helpful with this and will gladly go pick up medications or anything I may need. He does not pick up the slack for me around the house though, and even when I ask him to do dishes or change cat litter boxes once or twice a week he forgets until I ask multiple times. It has started to occur to me that maybe there would not be as much work for me around the house if I was the only one living in and making messes of the space. At the same time it's hard for me to imagine my life without him. He's the only romantic partner I have had and we genuinely have a great time together and love each other a lot. I know it sounds like a lot of bad, but the man I fell in love with is sweet and caring and goes out of his way for others. We've talked ad nauseam about it and I genuinely believe he wants to change his behavior, but I don't know if he can.
Has anyone experienced something like this? I'm reading Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay and meeting with a counselor soon but I want to know what other women have experienced. Thanks!