My parents have started inviting themselves to stay at our home every other weekend. They treat our house like a holiday home, but they don’t offer to help in any way. I find myself cooking, cleaning, and making drinks all day, which leaves me feeling more like their maid than their daughter. Whenever they are here, they always ask “oh can you this for me - can you that for me”
On top of this, one of my children has profound autism and sensory processing difficulties. Certain noises and behaviours can easily trigger a meltdown. My father knows this, but he still does things that set my child off. When the meltdowns happen, he just asks, “What’s wrong?” - and when I explain, he never really takes it on board. Instead, he gets defensive, and nothing changes.
This situation is becoming very stressful for me. I feel caught in the middle: if I say they can’t keep coming, they’ll likely be offended, but if they continue to visit without adapting to our child’s needs, it causes real distress for my child and for us as a family. I’m reaching the point where I feel I may have to set firmer boundaries about their visits if things don’t change. How do I tell them not to come anymore without offending them?