Internet dating and getting carried away

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I Ve been internet dating for the last 2 months, following a gap of two years after a painful breakup of a fourteen year relationship: we have a child together.

I connected with someone after a couple of weeks... we messaged, we were very compatible.He seemed excited, I was excited.We had a couple of dates after 2 weeks of almost daily messaging. On the dates we talked for hours, but nothing physical. I think then I continued to be excited and really get carried away with the idea that this might be a big love. And unfortunately now I know that he had started to think it wasn't right for him.
We had a couple more dates, but I'd felt I was getting mixed messages from him and I tried to broach this with him at the end of the 4th date - he reacted in quite a stressy way and ultimately broke it off after that.
I ve been left feeling pretty stupid and embarrassed by the whole thing. The breaking off was done over voice note and message, because he was away camping and didn't really have signal.It was respectful, nice and kind, from both sides, and he did explain that he'd started to feel maybe it wasn't right for him, although he didn't explicitly say that he definitely was breaking it off.It was just implied , and we both said at the end of that messaging conversation that it would be nice to catch up in a few weeks.
We are 4 weeks down-the-line and I have been eagerly waiting for the last week to speak to him to get some kind of closure in a final conversation. Nothing too heavy- a bit of a catch up, a bit of post mortem and move on. However, he hasn't contacted me so I decided to reach out to him with a short message saying, "do you fancy that catch up?(closure and all that)" ... that was 2 days ago and he hasn't replied. If he doesn't reply I'm just going to delete his contact details, and unmatch him.
I suppose the reason for my post is that II can't work out if im just taking this far too seriously. Does it seem really weird that I would want a "closure" conversation after only 4 dates? And after he has already to some extent explained why from his point of view , it ended. I m feeling rather vulnerable in this whole situation and I want to learn from it so that I don't mistake make the same mistakes again (meanwhile I've connected with someone else, which tbh probably began with me being on a bit of a mini rebound , but has become something with potential and is feeling pretty good).

Does it seem really weird that I would want a "closure" conversation after only 4 dates?
Kindly, yes, yes it does seem weird.

It's a bit disappointing how online dating often goes—lots of big promises that sometimes end up fizzling out. It can be tough to find closure when there's silence on the other end. Just remember, if he's not engaging, it’s probably a sign he’s not the right match for you. Keep your chin up and move forward!

Don’t message again. No reply is the closure you need. Don’t feel stupid, we have all been there

I want to learn from it so that I don't mistake make the same mistakes again

You met four times, the reason is you’re not compatible, which is perfectly okay. Think of walking down the High Street this afternoon. The vast majority of men walking towards you will be perfectly nice, and also not compatible for a relationship, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or them, or this man. I wouldn’t over analyse it.

You’ve now met someone else (so why are you lingering over this one man?) so don’t over complicate that either.

Kindly OP yes wanting closure after 4 dates does sound ridiculously over invested. And the fact you describe the next man you’re now dating as a mini rebound does seem like you’re rushing in head first. It all sounds far too much too soon - don’t overthink just go on dates and take each one as it comes.

Your words do sound like you’re not in the right headspace for the brutal reality of OLD tbh. Youre over investing in people who are basically strangers

The thing about internet dating is that you will meet lots of people. Some you will see only once and some (like this one) more often. Then it ends. It’s just over. And you may well not know why. People do not expect to have a closure conversation - it’s not like an unsuccessful job interview where you request feedback. Just unmatch & move on.

(In fact if a guy had suggested a closure conversation to me in my internet dating days I would probably have felt a bit persecuted.)

Internet dating is tough & you need to accept there will be downs, and horrendous dates, and times you feel disappointed - and then finally one time when it works. I would forget him now.

Kindly, you are taking this way too seriously you had closure when he said he wasn't feeling it. I'm not sure what else either of you could day after that other than 'best of luck enjoyed meeting you' and simply move on.
As another poster said we've all been there. Online dating takes a mindset of strong boundaries and ability to move on. I've dated loads and in the end kinds of went straight to date after wed messaged a few times BC of exactly this, you message and let them into your world only to find out it's not right then you are bound up in missing them etc when had you met them in pub say the chances are you wouldn't have hit it off in the first place. Just delete his number, and his messages and unmatch him and you will recover quicker.

No one wants to meet up to give you closure it was only 4 dates! What closure do you need other than he wasn’t feeling it ?

You don't need closure. He said he wasn't feeling it. He's not going to contact you and if he does you should just block him.

You liked him a lot but he didn't feel the same, so just move on or you'll end up pining after him at the expense of other potentially more viable relationships.

Thanks for all your perspectives- the general consensus being 'chill the f** out' 😂
To be clear, I wasn't suggesting meeting up with him to talk: the last message he had sent me 4 weeks ago said "id like to catch up in a few weeks". So I took that at face value, and really "closure" to me would just be a kind of "good luck nice neeting you" convo ..Anyway, whatever the detail, he obviously doesn't want to do that now, which is totally fair enough. So .. deleted and moving on!

Yeah, he wasn't expecting to hear from you. Four weeks after four dates, he's already moved on and doesn't have any interest in meeting up again for any reason.

The catch up suggestion was just a way of softening the blow. A month is a long time in online dating! He could have been on 28 other dates by then (as could you).

I do think when you do OLD it’s a good idea not to take anything on face value and uk realise nothing is real until it absolutely is.

Anyone telling you let’s stay friends, let’s catch up soon etc is basically saying ‘I’m not interested in you but I’m trying to let you down gently’

You won’t get closure from men on OLD, you’ll get ghosted and blocked without explanation. You just grow a thick skin, shrug your shoulders and move on.