Should she tell him ?

[mouthpipette]

Kat, a good friend of mine, has just started courting Karl. Both are introvert and anxious types and Kat is daily 20mg Citalopram. Karl is tall, lean, fit and Vegan. He cares very much about what goes into his body. He takes neither alcohol nor coffee. He would certainly have an opinion on ADs, should Kat tell him ?
Both are very, highly, honest. They try to be open with each other.

My thoughts are, the longer you leave it, the worse it is when it comes out… or am I being oversensitive .. it might not matter at all to him. ?

Gruesome details,
Known each other 6 weeks, met online.
Met up 10 times, mostly outings to theatre, cinema food and have had sex twice, though by the end of this weekend it might be thrice.
Sex is very comfortable and lovely and loving and exciting.
Each about 60.

What would it have to do with Karl? In what way is it remotely similar to withhold information about being a criminal and withholding information about medication?

Karl sounds like a judgemental arsehole.

Medication is not generally a choice like caffeine and alcohol is so if he "had an opinion" he should just do one.

So yeah, I think she should tell him so if it is an issue, she knows before she potentially wants things more serious/longer term

Its none of your business or Karl's business.

It's nothing to do with Karl, and if he's bothered then he's not for Kat/you.

Karl sounds like a judgemental arsehole. @Whaleandsnail6

His opinion of her taking ADs might not be negative, she doesn't know yet. There's a good chance he will understand that she takes them to curb her anxiety. He might be fine with it, in which case her honesty will bond them further.
On the other hand he does seem very conscious about his own intake and may not have positive views, in which case it will be a good determinant to see just how invested in her he is. I can understand suggestions of "use this as a litmus test" to gauge his suitability.

That isn't a fair comparison! You can't equate a criminal record to taking a medicine prescribed to keep you well!

FWIW, if he objects to her taking them, he's an arse. So in a way, I'd say tell him very early and see how he responds. If he's in any way upset or annoyed or irritated, leave him.

That said, it's up to every individual WHEN they share personal info. She should tell him when she feels ready. IMO this doesn't include very fundamental info which mich reasonably change your view of a person. ie withholding you are married or have children or have an addiction or moving abroad in 3 months time.

100% all of this - plus what would he say if she was on insulin for diabetes? Medicine is vital for health and if he's a health nut then surely he should be able to understand that (unless he's a bit dim).

Flipping the situation. If he had something that he was unsure about telling her, such as a restraining order or a criminal record

How is that “flipping the situation”? It’s 20mg of prescribed citalopram, not a heroin addiction ffs.

Many, many people have been on anti-depressants at some point. It’s not a big secret, there’s little to no stigma, why do you think this is such a big deal?

I don’t think personal medication is anybody’s business. Whether you take insulin, statins, medication for mental health, I don’t see how it could even be up for negotiation or something to declare?

Would he think the same about insulin? Antibiotics?

he sounds like a dick

its uo to her if she tells him but if she’s not telling him because she’s afraid he would be judgemental then she needs to get rid of him and find someone who likes her and doesn’t judge.

Good point - missed that bit!

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. I take daily medication. He sees me take it. I don’t think I’ve ever explicitly told him what it’s for (it’s boring) but nor have I wilfully not told him. It’s medical. It’s needed.
If Karl judged my required medications that would tell me all I needed to know about him.