Lost it at DH

[angryladylostit]

Changed username for this.

So embarrassed as the neighbours probably heard this but I literally screamed at him as I could not stand his behaviour any more.

He spends hours on the loo a day, morning and evening, on his phone, essentially hiding from the family while I do 80% of the drudge work. He does suffer from anxiety and the time hiding in bathroom increases when it’s bad.

I feel so unrespected and unloved, it’s like he doesn’t think of the impact on me/us at all. It sounds like a small thing written down but after years and years of asking him to reduce this I just broke. He says it will change. I feel so ashamed.

I'd bet he doesn't spend hours in the loo at work. I don't know how you tolerate it. I'd be banging on the door after 10 mins...

I just wouldn't have time for this.

I'd divorce and he could get treatment or not and spend all the time in his own bathroom in his own place he pleased. He's scrolling on his phone in the bathroom instead of taking part in his family life.

Get a screwdriver and remove all locks- you can go in and grab the phone off him if he doesn’t sort it out

What a total dick! I’m familiar with the territory- some people are useless, utterly useless and waste their spouses lives. Don’t feel bad about screaming. I’m surprised you haven’t done it before now

Sounds like he needs a good kick up the arse.

Plus he needs to be proactive and get a formal diagnosis.

I'd have ripped him one too.

Expect him to drift back to his preferred routine by stealth.
If it was me, I'd be ending it.

This!

Screaming isn’t the best way of tackling issues. It is abusive. So is threatening to ‘rip him a new one’ ( another poster). I understand why you are embarrassed about your behaviour, OP. Perhaps, apologise for the screaming and use it as a way to have a productive discussion. My Mum used to scream at my Dad. It was terrifying and as children we always sided with my Dad even though he probably was equally at fault.
So many posters on here would threaten to leave if their husband screamed at them. I do understand your frustration but hopefully you can move on.

Your situation sounds intolerable and something needs to change. Yes it’s not nice to scream but we all have a breaking point. Look after yourself.

For how long has been saying he’s going to change?

Needs to start by not taking his phone into the loo

They probobly didnt hear you honestly. I heard my neighbours and I had a wee chuckle as everyone fights so please dont feel ashamed. Its life and I would have cracked up too (and I have done so more than once!) xxx

Is there any need to be so rude? I stand by what I said that sitting on a toilet for literally hours on end would be deeply uncomfortable and it not normal behaviour at all. This 'majority of Dads' thing sounds like a silly Mumsnet trope.

I agree with this as well.