Hi all, I’ve been married almost 10 years and we have two young kids. I’m really struggling and would appreciate some outside perspective.
I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells around my husband. He huffs, stonewalls, and makes sarcastic comments—often over small things. This has been going on for at least 5 years but has become more frequent since I said I didn’t want more children last year (after tough pregnancies and postnatal depression).
I do most of the parenting and household work (meals, bedtime, laundry, etc.), though he does more cleaning and helps with school runs. Daily he will make passive-aggressive comments about how little I do. He also gets upset if I make independent decisions—like making our daughter a different dinner or saying I’d like to go back to uni. In both cases, he stopped talking to me for days.
Recently, I completed a physically demanding charity challenge I’d trained for. He didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t donate, and left for 8 hours right after I got home. No support, no help with the kids.
He has a lot of free time—multiple hobbies and regular weekends away which I support and encourage. But if I go away (which is rare), he makes me feel guilty for being away from the kids.
I used to apologise just to keep the peace. But after years of this, I feel emotionally drained and unsure what to do. I’ve started to feel like he resents me, maybe even hates me. Has anyone experienced something like this? Is this normal? Thanks for reading