How much time do you actually spend with your DH/DP each week? Are you happy with it?

[Happycherry39]

Hi all,

I’m just curious to know how much time other couples realistically spend together in a typical week, and whether you feel it’s enough.

My DH works long hours and has hobbies/social things he does regularly. We do talk every day and usually catch up at the end of the night in bed, but I sometimes feel like that’s the only “us” time we really get.

I know life is busy, especially with kids, but I wonder if other people feel the same? Do you make time for proper “couple time” each week, or do you find chatting here and there is enough to keep you feeling connected?

Would love to hear how others balance this and whether you’re happy with it.

Thanks x

A LOT! We work in the same dept and I have to liaise with him daily. We drive to work together a few days a week and then I wfh two days. We finish at 4:30 so we’re home together from 5ish. But to be fair I could sit and watch tv and he could be reading in another room. Right now he’s sitting opposite me ordering a take away for us…does that count? 🤣

Oh wow that’s alot of time! Do you ever feel like you would want your own space and life alittle bit?

This was me when we first got together. Only we sat next to each other in the office. I loved it!

Now we work in seperate rooms in the house, but because we’ve got kids, I don’t feel like we get enough just us time.

ah we do things separately too. He’ll go up to his man cave for down time, I’ll go for a long walk etc. we have a lot of space to be separated when we want to be. I’ll be out all day tomorrow and half of Sunday this weekend so it’s all good 🤣

Quite a bit, and yes we do have one night a week with just us, even if its just dinner at home after DC have eaten. I think it really helps keep the romantic spark alive! We're very happily married after nearly 20 years.

I need my own space but I wouldn't want to spend so little time with DH. He's still my favourite person to hang out with!

A lot, we’re both retired and do our own thing but there is still a lot of time we are together.

I casually ask what my DH is up to the following week and then arrange things to avoid seeing him otherwise it just ends up too much. We do get on and have a good laugh but I really need time to myself. I’m more of an introvert than I realised and do need this time to recharge.

Quite a bit. Our kids have left home though. I work ft, he works pt. We spend evenings together unless one of us is going out (usually me) once a week or so. I also have evening gym classes. I also go away with girlfriends / my sister a few times a year without him. We go to our local at least once a week and always have good chats there. Works for us.

During the week, it’s mental here. We both work long hours and have three children who need ferrying around to different activities. But, we always have a cup of tea and a catch-once the children are in bed. The weekends are more relaxed and we occasionally ask grandparents to babysit so we can go out for dinner together.

We don’t live together but meet up every weekend.

So we see each other 2 days a week, something like 36-72 hours depending on when we meet and whether or not he stays over on Sunday night.

On top of that, we spend public holidays together and we use most of our respective annual leave on going away together, so that’s an additional 6-7 weeks a year.

New-ish relationship, we really like each other’s company so far. 😊

I mean we are in the same house (and awake) from about 6pm to 11pm, often in the same room but doing different things… we are together all weekend too except from one taking one dc to their class and the other taking the other dc to their class. What do we do together? Maybe watch tv for an hour before we go to bed… although weekends we do eat all together at the same time too

Every evening, we go out most weekends together and we go to the gym as a pair 😂. Very rare we aren’t together apart from work hours

Well we try and eat as a family every night (although it’s not always possible), and then around 4 evenings a week we have the time from when the kids are in bed until we go to bed, so maybe 3 hours, 4 times a week entirely to ourselves.
We also both book a long lunch break into our diaries one Friday a month and go out somewhere nice for lunch together.

Not much really as when kids were small he couldn't cope so he either spent most of the day out the house or I took kids out as soon as they woke up and stayed out with them all day - now kids are older we still do our own thing. I have quite a few friends scattered around the country and love socialising so am always somewhere doing something with someone but rarely him. He doesn't really like people so is happy at home. I have always been very independent and never has much success at relationships as most of the men I dated wanted to spend every waking moment with me and however much I love some one I love my own space and also seeing other people. DH finds it hard now that i don't want to spend time with him as he doesn't have the stress of the kids now he thinks I should want to be with him but he buggered off for 8 hrs a day and left me with the kids for 18 yrs because he couldn't cope so I do resent him for that

He was away with work mon- fri for 6 weeks at the start of the year and I loved it as I could do my own thing without any pressure.

The only thing is when we do spend time together we have so much to talk about - we are the only couple out of my original friendship group still together and I am sure one of the reasons for that is that we don't live in each others pockets. I only one friend who is still married to her original DH and they have just celebrated their silver wedding and she said they have lasted because they rarely see each other but when they do it is really nice because they have so much to talk about.

DH hates me being independant and wants me to be needy and at his beck and call and going him doey eyes etc but he knows that will never happen with me.

Every evening pretty much unless out with work or friends ( which very rarely happens these days). After DC goes to bed at 8. Till around half 10/11 when I go to bed/alone time. He will typically stay up and watch anime/play video games as a way to unwind/de-stress. We sometimes have a Wednesday off in common and when DC is in school we go to the cinema. Next Wednesday we are going for seafood boil.

All weekend together too. DH does alot of the daddy uber stuff for lessons/clubs etc. I sometimes tag along. Sometimes I don't. We also go out for dinner on Saturday nights as a family.

We are retired and have separate hobbies but usually do eat at least one meal together a day and try to do something together a few times a week. We have just got back from the cinema. I think time apart is healthy but it is important to find things to do together as well. When we were working and had kids at home we used to see each other in the evenings although we like different tv shows and both have our own hobby rooms.

Loads and loads. We are farmers and work together for most of our day. Only really apart when I do the school run or disappear to run/coffee/church for a a few hours otherwise I’ll grow extra toes and become a bit too insular. Didn’t leave the boundary of our farm for over 3 months during Covid and that wasn’t good for anyone’s mental health!!

We spend all evenings and weekends together, but almost all of that time is with the kids as well. Neither of us go out on our own to see friends or do hobbies (though I have time for myself when dcs are in school).
We get a bit of couple time in the evenings but the kids get to bed late and DH goes to bed not much later (I stay up on my own). I enjoy the time we have, although the chance for conversation is often a few minutes while the dcs are in a playground, in between one of the dcs asking to be pushed on the swings and the other one needing a boost on the monkey bars. It would be nice to get a bit of couple time occasionally, but we don't like having babysitters around.

Usually after work (both get in about 5pm). He often goes to the pub one night a week and I have a hobby. Plus one weekend day most of the time.

Me too! We’ve been together 30 years and worked together for 18 of those years

Properly alone time - not much and I wish it was more. Once or twice a week we manage to do a lunchtime dog walk together, and then every evening we'll spend an hour or two together once the kids are asleep. At the weekend we are usually both at home but busy with kids, chores etc.. Every few months we get a date night/lunch out together.

Not in mornings as he leaves for work before me but after work in evenings and weekends we eat together then watch films plus use phones etc for gaming so I guess quite a lot