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Original poster

Is ex the father

33 replies

SadlyNotATroll · 11/09/2025 17:01

Sigh. I wish this wasn’t real but here we are. I was with DP for many years and we had just started trying for a baby. Had unprotected sex with him on days 9 and 14 of my cycle. I got a high OPK on cycle day 13 (0.85 if any TTCers are on here). 2 days later he dumped me out of the blue. The TTC stuff freaked him out. Ironic. I was devastated, went out with my friends that weekend, got drunk and slept with an old friend. Unprotected but he pulled out. That sex was on day 20 of my cycle. 11 days my period was a few days late and took a test. Got a positive. It’s 3 weeks later and I’m still very much pregnant and don’t know what to do. Before I make any decisions I guess I’d like to know who the likely father is? Please be kind. I’m a mess.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2025 18:10

The "he did/she did" isnt relevant and it isnt helpful.

The OP is in this situation, so she must deal with it.

I think based on your info @SadlyNotATroll it is more likely to be your ex's baby. But does it make a difference? Or are you thinking that if it is his baby he may come back, but if its your friends then there is no chance?

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2025 18:12

Why wouldnt it be fair to keep it if its your friends baby?

He was happy to have unprotected sex, knowing full well what could happen. That was his decision and fairness doesnt come into it.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 11/09/2025 18:42

You can actually have a dna test while pregnant, but you’d need something (cheek swab???) from one of the potential fathers.

And they both, for different reasons, chose to have unprotected sex with you so I wouldn’t worry about what they think.

So this is your choice, just concentrate on what you want. Even if your ex is the father he may choose to have no contact.

(And for next time, please use a condom for your health)

Viviennemary · 11/09/2025 18:46

It could be either one. Guess work is no good here. There will need to be a DNA test if you need to know for sure.

DurinsBane · 11/09/2025 22:43

SadlyNotATroll · 11/09/2025 17:22

I’ve read online that there isn’t actually any sperm in pre-ejaculatory fluid (can you tell I’m driving myself mad??!)

I’m afraid that isn’t true. There can be some

Silverfoxlady · 11/09/2025 22:56

Sounds like your ex is the father, day 20 of your cycle is quite late to be ovulating if it is a 31 day cycle. More likely you would have ovulated around day 17 (according to Google), and day 20 is too late.

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2025 23:00

Been thinking about this and I cant help wondering, how much of a "friend" is the other potential father if he would have sex with a woman who he knows is emotionally vulnerable as she has just been left by her partner?

Whatever happens going forward, I wouldnt trust him at all.

ArmyOfNorks · 12/09/2025 01:36

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/09/2025 23:00

Been thinking about this and I cant help wondering, how much of a "friend" is the other potential father if he would have sex with a woman who he knows is emotionally vulnerable as she has just been left by her partner?

Whatever happens going forward, I wouldnt trust him at all.

This. Unprotected sex with a vulnerable friend. Awful man.

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