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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Supporting friends in crap relationships

1 reply

Esthery · 10/09/2025 22:11

I've always believed that other people's relationships and marriages often don't make sense from the outside. And I know full darn well the strain young children put on marriage - got my own tensions there...

But I have a friend with twins who I think is figuring out why her partner was divorced after his first child. He doesn't do any childcare. Can't cope. Won't take them out alone. Is impatient with them. Seems depressed.

She works full time, is carrying the full parenting load, and is imploding.

What do you do to help? What the heck can you say?

I'm smugly(?) in a relationship where my husband really does work as a team with me (and I still resent him on occasion!) with only one child. How do I not just make things worse?

I'm really worried for her long term wellbeing.

OP posts:
Endofyear · 10/09/2025 22:26

I think you just listen, let her offload and commiserate with her. Don't offer solutions, she has to get to a point where she decides for herself that she's had enough. Perhaps offer to have the kids for an afternoon on the weekend to give her a break?

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