Inappropriate chemistry

[Confusedgorz]

Mumsnetters,
Have you ever felt total utter lust for someone who is inappropriate and unobtainable?
I have a partner who I love - we have been together 20 years. We have a good sex life, share children and I love him very much.
Recently I crossed paths with someone who I felt a strong connection and chemistry with and it has left me so confused. I feel giddy around them and the desire is so strong.
I don't know if they feel the same , and don't think they do.
I don't want to ruin my relationship but has anyone ever been in this situation before? I've heard of twin flame stuff. I've never experienced this before and am in my 40s.
Please don't judge me - I'm trying to be honourable and not act on it but my head is in a spin.
Thanks for reading

Eek it’s a mega slippery slope. Either you stay well away or trouble is coming!

Yes, don't mistake it for anything other than hormones. This guy isn't 'the one', he's just someone your body thinks phoar about. Get to know him and it'll wear off. I've had this twice, and both times getting to know the person better was enough to dispel any romantic ideas. When I think of them now I get serious ick.

Enjoy the fluffle of your tummy, but don't take it any further.

It happens to everyone from time to time. Just don't see it as any more significant than it is (ie. not at all).

Yes I have and I navigated it by taking it for what it was - intense chemistry.

It doesn't mean anything more than that.

I don't think it's a betrayal to feel that way every once in a great while about someone other than the person you love and are committed to (has happened once for me).

I enjoyed it for what it was - a reawakening of that part of me. Being in lust/in love is a fantastic feeling.

And then I waited for it to go, which it did.

I've got this at the moment with someone at work. The chemistry is off the scale intense, and I know he feels the same.

However, we are both married, though neither of us particularly happily, and we know it can't go anywhere unless we both find ourselves single, which for many reasons is unlikely to happen. We avoid being alone together. It'll burn out eventually.

I am so relieved to read this post and all of the responses. I had posted a similar thing, as I have had the exact same thing happen to me. It is so weird and out of character for me. This man is not compatible with me at all really and there are things that I would have said were non negotiable for me on the "ick" list, but I've got this crazy obsession with him and he just makes me go all fluttery. Bonkers - bloody hormones🙄

You are seeking guidance this is good.... if you dont want anything to happen,why are you spending time with this person? is it avoidable? What if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you want your husband to behave... I'd say use that thought exercise to determine how you should.

It will pass, you just have to wait it out. It's just a serious crush, but they do pass if you don't linger too much. In fact, in my experience they pass and you reflect and think 'why, was I so enamoured!?' Don't buy into any of this 'twin flames' type thing, it really is just a chemical / hormonal thing. It's not as deep as it feels.

If you know you can handle a little crush without it becoming anything more than a little flicker when you see him, and you trust yourself to know your boundaries, then I wouldn’t be too worried.

If you have a tendency toward intensity and rumination, an innocent crush can become very consuming, unhealthy, and tormenting. If that’s the case, stay far away from the guy. Lean out as much as possible.

All this talk about twin flames is a bit of a sign that you’re getting carried away and this might be trouble. Very rarely does a crush lead to a real connection. The chemistry is usually dependent on mystery and fantasy … so it’s not built on anything real. It’s important to remember that.

I went down that road many years ago when I was dating, my ex girlfriend. We had this friend and I had a bit of an attraction to her. my only problem was we used to flirt a lot together, so I never really knew how she felt about me. But eventually, the truth did come out and yeah, it made a huge mess for me.