Birthday unacknowledged for 2 years

[Hobnob90]

I’ve been with my partner for about 15 years, we have two children together. Since we’ve lived together approx 9 years my parents have bought my partner a birthday present and card for his birthday. However the last 2 years they haven’t or even acknowledged it. Last year I thought maybe they’d forgotten it the year before so I mentioned a few times what we were doing for partners birthday that weekend. But no happy birthday was said or even a card! I want to approach this with my parents now as it’s hurtful. DP family always get me presents and cards and I feel really embarrassed how my parents have behaved.
just a side note they always get him a Christmas present, we live local and when we pop round I don’t pick up on any hostility towards him. Any advice on how to approach this?

Dd2 doesn't mind and I doubt her dh would either! I occasionally get a random card from her but not usually. Dd1 is more into cards and presents. Dd2 does help out a lot with dd3's expenses as we are on UC and she is a high earner living in a beautiful mortgage free home. I try and see her and my gc monthly.

Always give them a way out so it doesn’t feel confrontational- Mum did you mean to not give Bob a birthday card or did it slip your mind? It’s not like you.

It’s not the same thing if you don’t always get one though. OP states that she always send them one and it have her OH’s name on. If that works for your family then that’s your business.

My daughter sometimes mentions what her bf's parents have bought her, if it is something nice, but if they got nothing I doubt I'd hear about it. They seem to be very well-organised (and well off!) compared to me. But what they do is their business. I doubt they care what I get their son. I only do Christmas presents for him as I have not got round to putting his birthday in my calendar and don't think he will be disappointed if I only get him one shit "pair of socks" style present a year. I don't have the money and don't know him well enough to get anything better.

I think lots of people do this and I think it’s sensible in today’s climate but it’s only fair to tell the people it affects so that they can also cut back. If it’s an awkward or embarrassing conversation to have then the perfect time to say it is when you receive a card / gift ‘Thank you for your card, we’re deciding to cut back a little so please don’t feel obliged to send us one going forward.’ People that cut back always seem to want it to be just them and for them to still be gifted to.