I copied and pasted this from another post I wrote:
"I've been pretty ruthless. On Hinge for a month. I discounted anyone who
- didn't use a full first name (e.g. M or something)
- didn't bother filling in any profile information
- didn't bother making their profile remotely interesting
- put "travelling the world" or anything else on their life goals that would clash with a settled life here
- didn't have the common sense not to put pictures with their work lanyards/ kids on
- posted naked or semi-naked pictures
- posted more than one picture of them holding an alcoholic drink
- posted pictures at festivals/ all mountain climbing pictures/ anything else I wouldn't want to regularly do
- posted pictures with women cut out
- posted pictures where they blurred out faces
- spoke English with a strong accent (communication is very important to me)
- is religious enough to post that
- wants kids
- has a dog or a great love for dogs (I'm a cat person)
- liked my image without leaving a comment
If the conversation didn't flow or they didn't respond with 24h, they were also out. Relationships need mutual investment and I didn't want to do all the work. Anyone who hit any red flags was out. Anyone who hit any amber flags without good reason was out.
I whittled the noise down to 5 people in that month, all of whom I gave my number for further Whatsapp and meetup purposes. I made every one of them send me a picture of them I couldn't find online. I asked a series of direct and purposeful questions and watched their reactions carefully before doing that, so I knew we were on the right wavelength before giving them any information.
Two were incompatible in their chosen/ lived lifestyles; one I wished luck before blocking and removing them, the other got friendzoned. One I met in person, but he clearly only wanted sex, so he got removed. One was fully on my wavelength, a complete nerd, too, but it took 6 weeks until we both found a time to meet up - he lost out to number 5, whom I managed to meet earlier and who turned out to be the man of my dreams."
That man started the conversation with me, based on something I had written. His profile had already caught my eye before. Turned out we not only share a lot of interests (nerdy and niche for the most part), we also work in similar roles, have similar salaries, similar ambitions, the same outlook on our futures, are at the same stage in life, have experienced similar things in relationships, have similar values and attitudes towards money/ politics/ lifestyles. I had a list of red and green flags that I had compiled before I started online dating and he hit all of my greens (and then some) and none of my reds.
My criteria were ruthless and I didn't waste time on anyone who wasn't a good fit. My current man and I paused the app after date 1, and had fully deleted it by date 4. We just knew we were right for each other.