Crushing inappropriately like a silly school girl. Midlife crisis?

[MatchaMama9]

Hoping saying this out loud will help me get over it. Happily married, but crushing on someone else. He is my kid's teacher. YIKES. Not even conventionally good looking but very charming and a great listener. Anyone relate? Now acting like an idiot rewatching the video of book week parade where I caught him smiling and looking at the camera as he walked past in the front of the line... SILLY ME!!

Oh just enjoy it like you would enjoy having a crush on a celebrity.
You are a human being.
As long as you aren't acting on it in any way and are genuinely happy in your marriage.
Don't take it to seriously. It's just a facet of life. Sometimes there are people you will connect with and find attractive. Just enjoy that that can happen. Keep good boundaries in place. And don't worry yourself about it.

there are crushes and then there is limerences. Crushes are light fun. Limerence is when you get a little obsessed and tormented with infatuation. I’d try to make sure it stays in fun crush lane. Otherwise it can be quite problematic.

@Subwaystop how do I know the difference though? Like, in the practical sense, what are the signs that signals the latter rather than the former?

Usually if it starts to consume you outside of the time spent with him, it’s no longer a little crush. Like are you thinking of him when you’re not dropping off kids or interacting with him for school?

This is what Google gives me for crush versus limerence:

A crush is a mild, enjoyable admiration for someone that doesn't significantly disrupt daily life, while limerence is an intense, overwhelming, and often all-consuming emotional state of unrequited desire for another person. Key differences include limerence's obsessive intrusive thoughts, extreme mood swings from euphoria to despair, idealization of the Limerent object ., inability to focus on anything else, and potential negative impact on normal functioning, whereas a crush is lighter and leaves you able to function normally.

@Subwaystop I think I'm somewhere between the two. yes I think of him outside my interaction at school, because he's just a really supportive, nice teacher. Kiddo is neurodivergent and at the start of this school year I've had heaps of interaction with him to strategise how to help kiddo. I felt nothing then, but recently he chatted to me a few times to tell me some wonderful little moments kiddo did and said, that signified really amazing maturity and progress in learning. The last time we had a conversation he said 'You're doing a really good job'. I laughed and said 'so are you!' This is how the crush started.

I don't feel any despair or euphoria though, not yet anyway. And 2 months ago I was crushing on someone else, so perhaps just hormones. Second teenager-hood! If we pretend you're my classmate, I want to giggle and say 'oh if only you can see how he looked at the camera in this video!' :D :D

NC for this because I currently have a very inappropriate crush on my BIL 🤦‍♀️ I think it’s peri. I would never, ever do anything about it and I’m just keeping out of his way, (which isn’t unusual, I don’t see much of him anyway). I blame it on hormones because I am definitely not one for crushes. It will pass.

I think it’s peri, I have what could probably be defined as limerence. It’s actually awful. I’ve started reading more and learning a language to try to distract me.

Thanks everyone. I’m glad I’m not alone. What would I do without this wonderful forum !!