how to protect myself emotionally & financially my relationship.

[Mantii24]

got pregnant a few months into our relationship i rent my house privately and dp owns his own house.

I moved in with him at the start then we had our child. Now we are moving as need something bigger. My credit rating isn't good and he will be buying the new house in his name only, I won't be named on the mortgage yet until my credit score improves which could be years.
I work part time so can only afford to put a little towards the mortgage when he will be paying 3/4s of it.
i want to protect myself emotionally and financially as if we split i will have to start again from nothing.
he wants me to a sign a deed of trust when we move to new house even though i wont be on the mortgage. as far as im aware this only protects him ? and doesnt cover custody arrangements if we were to split also.
is there any other option for me ?
I have been advised that i should just marry him as its more protection ? but we could only afford a £2k wedding.

I don't want to split I'm just asking to protect myself as not with a mortgage but in the past I have been financially N emotionally shat on !
Thank you any advice would be appreciated
xx

You can get married more cheaply than 2k. Just the two of you, two witnesses, job done.

Marriage is your best bet.

i think the only way to protect yourself financially now is to invest your own money really wisely - either in a pension/ISA or in a property.

You say you only have £2k to spend on a wedding but has he actually proposed?

This is hugely judge mental and unhelpful advice, where will op live on a part time wage she might well be better off paying a tiny bit of his mortgage instead of full private rent alone, plus she presumably want her child to have its dad around and wants help with the evenings and morning childcare and also enjoys the company of her partner

op have you actually had a look at mortgage offers and what you’d get if you went on it? Don’t take his word for it - try and do an application as a couple.
then i can see he wants to protect his equity - if he puts in a 50% deposit you should have a deed of trust that he gets that back if you split, but the other share of the property is equally both of yours, as a team and a family , even if you contribute disproportionately he’s only able to pay more as you’re doing the childcare.
you can also suggest he goes down to part time - if you both work theee days a week there is only one day of childcare to fund. If he doesn’t want to do that as it’ll ruin his career ask him why he’s happy for your career to be ruined?

And the best thing you can do now is get a quick civil partnership or marriage - to convince him to do this talk less about what if you split and more about what if he dies or is very ill, you and daughter need protecting and you will need to make decisions for him on his behalf

And you’ll want widows pension etc

If you’re married you can also take some of his tax allowance so as a family you pay less tax

Ps custody arrangements won’t be agreed in advance of a split, only at the time of a split. Be prepared that even if you do most of the childcare now he could argue for 5050 and may get it and then he’d have to pay you no child maintenance

Yikes, you've been quite foolish here and left yourself wide open.

You'll be up shit creek if you don't get married.

He's been given some good advice and you'd likely do the same if the roles were reversed.

Is the deed of trust being asked for by the mortgage company because you're not on the mortgage?

Honestly, I'd leave him not marry him for the simple fact that divorce in a few years will cost you far more than marriage gave you.

A partner who loves you wants you to be protected in the event something happens to them or you have to split. Theis person doesn't come for you from that place. I'm sorry. But you've had this man's kid and he's still only thinking about himself.

I'd be looking at leaving and finding a co-parent arrangement that lets you get back to work full time. Because you've taken time out already and this man isn't going to support you long term. He's already looking into how he can keep money from you.

Now I'm not saying people don't have the right to put certain protections in place ... But this guy's mindset...i mean, you've had his baby and he hasn't softened towards you at all. Please choose yourself. Take a leaf out of his book.

@Mantii24 any updates?