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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

my GF want us to stay just a friend

6 replies

mieyou2 · 08/09/2025 15:56

We just broke up, and she said it’s better for us to stay friends. She told me she’s afraid she hasn’t fully moved on from her past, and she doesn’t want to use me as a way to run away from that. She also said she really loves and likes me, but she’s afraid she’ll end up wasting my time, and that our relationship felt rushed—especially since I’ll be leaving soon, which makes her decision feel justified.

But for me, being “just friends” hurts even more. There are things I can’t say anymore, like “I love you” or “I miss you,” and holding that back makes it even more painful.

She made me feel motivated to become a better person, but now without her, everything feels empty.

The fact that I still want to be with her feels like it’s poisoning my mind
She always seems to stand on the right side, which makes me feel like if I fight back, it’s just my ego talking

So my question is: should I tell her honestly how I feel now, or would it be better for me to just let go and move on?

OP posts:
VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 08/09/2025 16:02

You've been dumped, the "just friends" is just her attempt to make it hurt less.

It'll just hurt more though in the long run though. Tell her that won't work for you and cut all contact.

Dozycuntlaters · 08/09/2025 16:02

If you still love her and want to be with her, you need to cut it off completely. Staying friends will be like tearing the plaster off very very slowly and you wont be able to move on. Plus, if she doesnt want to be with you, she shouldnt get to keep you in her life. Maybe a year or so down the line but not right now.

Hoppinggreen · 08/09/2025 16:08

Sorry but you have been dumped
Best thing to do it move on and forget about here completely

user2848502016 · 08/09/2025 16:28

“Just friends” rarely works so you need to look after yourself and make a clean break.

Sassylovesbooks · 09/09/2025 19:13

In my opinion 'wanting to be friends' is a statement that people use to soften the blow of breaking up. In order to move on, it would be better for you to make a clean break, and have no contact. Yes, it's hard, but for your own well-being and sanity, it would be far better.

MarshmallowsOnToast · 09/09/2025 19:21

Where are you leaving to?

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