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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Doormat or am I wrong?

5 replies

WRLGPLmN164 · 07/09/2025 23:50

Met a lovely man this year which has been great up until now. Both having older children we understand that they come first in our relationship. His ex to date has become the issue and because of this I feel I need to stop seeing him. It’s none of my business I know but the way she speaks to him is rude, abusive and totally unacceptable. If he doesn’t respond to a text she keeps messaging until she gets an answer hour after hour. He is unable to plan his weeks away from work because she controls and picks and chooses when she has their joint pet often with only a couple of hours notice and she expects both drop off and pick ups. He seems to tie himself up in knots when she texts/calls and he agrees to her demands
for a quiet life. He is being treated like a doormat by her. All her demands work to suit her needs and everytime I meet up with him we spend the first hour discussing her appalling behaviour. Today I learnt her NHS paperwork still goes to his house which allows her access to a local doctors surgery to where he lives, better standard of care etc was the reason given by him. Again all rules to suit her gain. I am exhausted and love spending time with him but cannot cope with anymore drama from his ex. Should I walk away? Any thoughts would be appreciated

OP posts:
smallsilvercloud · 08/09/2025 00:07

He is a doormat, however without sounding like your trying to control what he does about it, talk to him how it affects your relationship and that it’s bad enough for you to consider leaving him, she does sound overbearing but surely it won’t be like this long term, they only share a pet?
Sounds like they haven’t been separated that long?

Blueuggboots · 08/09/2025 00:09

Yes, walk away.

whoboo · 08/09/2025 00:12

Joint pet? Fuck that

Subwaystop · 08/09/2025 01:48

Before you walk away can you talk to him and see if he can change things? I’d definitely walk away if he can’t grow a spine with her.

MarxistMags · 08/09/2025 01:55

Was pet a mis type? If not then they are both batshit crazy

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