Is something seriously wrong?

[anonymouswriter]

Me and my partner have been together for 5 years. Both live together and get married next summer.

We are very happy in our relationship and love each other very much. But we literally never have sex anymore. I’ve tried thinking ‘when did this start?’ Or ‘Why has this happened?’ But cannot come to a definite reason as to why.

We both work full time and long hours, 45-50 hour weeks and have generally busy lives but it is starting to really bother and upset me.

We of course have had conversations about it multiple times and we say we will make more time or effort but it just never happens.

We have had some very difficult times throughout the 5 years, including sudden family deaths, health issues and sadly two surprise pregnancies that ended in miscarriages. I also have PCOS and endometriosis (recently diagnosed) so when we have been intimate it has been difficult in the last year or so due to pain etc.

We are 29&30 and it just feels abnormal as we both love each other so much.

Has anyone been through anything similar? Should I be seriously concerned?

Well consciously or subconsciously painful sex is going to put you both off it. He's not going to wand to hurt you and you'll be anxious. What about other aspects? Do you cuddle? Are affectionate with each other in general? Can you take sex out the equation and just play around?

It also depends on what he says when you raise it. Are you saying at 2pm that in theory you want to have more sex and he's agreeing and then by bed you're both shattered and it doesn't happen, or are you trying to initiate sex then and there and getting rejected?

What helped us was having sex early evening before we were too tired. If we waited until bedtime we both just wanted to sleep.