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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Still can’t get my head around it!

7 replies

SunsetSunrise22 · 07/09/2025 13:00

I have posted a few times recently just still really struggling although I have better days just when ex partner walked out 5 months ago as was sick of bickering(I get he probably emotionally checked out although we were still sleeping together 3 times that week before he left and he had booked me a overnight stay to Dublin for my birthday the following week) he seemed to change overnight. He is 43 and went on his lads holidays when left and then went on a date with someone and then started talking to someone else in the July they both broadcasted on Facebook their first date so has been with her 7 weeks and moving in with her tomorrow as says he can’t afford flat and makes financial sense and she has offered to let him move in. He has not met her children as she hasn’t had them for 5 years due to DV but claims they will come back soon. I struggle to get my head around not only falling in love and moving in together in 7 weeks but for her not to meet her children but she invites a man to live with her before she gets children back but he’s making me out that I sound crazy for saying that. He does tell me he’s a lot happier and gets to spend plenty of time with her which hurts as I only ever asked him to spend more time with me and children but always worked as self employed so it’s hurting that he has made so much time for her like I wasn’t good enough to spend time with when all I done was work and spent time with children whilst he worked every night. Not sure what the point in post is just want to be happy and not feel worthless

OP posts:
PinkLady1979 · 07/09/2025 13:06

It’s not just been 7 weeks between them. I’m sorry. You deserve more. It will get better. You will be ok.

Mumlaplomb · 07/09/2025 13:07

He’s found a vulnerable woman to move in with. Sounds bad news all round, you are better off out of it OP.

SunsetSunrise22 · 07/09/2025 13:11

@PinkLady1979 i think it has as I actually seen him one night not long after he left with a different person not this one he is moving in with

@Mumlaplomb yeah I thought that she’s clearly still vulnerable and on her own as feel sorry that she’s been in DV relationship but don’t understand how moving someone in to your home before they meet new partner is normal. I know wish I could see I was better off

OP posts:
Itiswhysofew · 07/09/2025 13:19

How long were you together? Is he the father of your DC?

You're probably still dealing with the shock of it. Try your hardest to not get involved with what he's doing now. It'll keep setting you back. If he insist on telling you, tell him you're not interested.

Only time and distance will ease the pain.

You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want you.

I'm very sorry you're struggling. It is hardFlowers

SunsetSunrise22 · 07/09/2025 13:22

@Itiswhysofew together over 13 years and yeah he is father of dc who are 10 and 5. Yeah I’ve had to block him now for my own mental health as I don’t want to hear how he’s happier and when I don’t swap days and stick to schedule he says I’m just jealous because he has moved on. Then insists on telling my daughter that I’m probably out with my new boyfriend when I had a night out with my work friends last night just no need I don’t get him.

OP posts:
Diarygirlqueen · 07/09/2025 13:39

I remember your posts and I really feel for you. But you're going to have to try and focus less on him and his mess of a relationship and focus on yourself and your kids.
I'm glad you've blocked him, please stop giving him so much power over you.
Stay strong, I know its hard, but it will get easier.

SunsetSunrise22 · 07/09/2025 17:00

@Diarygirlqueen ah thanks I know I need to focus on that I’m pleased I blocked him first felt a bit more in control. I do have more good days than bad days now just little things get to me when children come in and say he’s bought her gifts and going away with her. I wish I could stop feeling so jealous as know I have ended up with better life or will have

OP posts:
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