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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling with how fast paced the modern dating is

1 reply

PoliteEagle · 06/09/2025 20:41

hope this is right section for this. Most of my dates are coming from apps and I struggle with how fast they want to move. I am rather reserved personality and prefer taking the things slow. Never been the type who wants to rip off their date shirt on a first or second date. Most men attempt to go for a proper kiss on a first date, putting their arm around me, ie moving fast (for me) with a physical touch etc. Doesn't help also being in London as life here is very fast pace. I prefer to move slowly, maybe a slight hug at the end of the date, light peck in a cheek as max. need a couple of dates to kiss and definitely more than few dates to be intimate. I need to get to know them as a person better, establish an emotional connection to move further. I am dating men in their 30ies and 40ies.
Does anyone else have the similar struggle? I really feel as an outlier as it seems most people are comfortable being physical early.

OP posts:
FairFuming · 06/09/2025 20:45

It's totally fine to have those boundaries but are you properly communicating them with the men you are going on dates with before you meet? If you are and they are ignoring them then that's a huge rad flag but it's ok to have a quick discussion about how you like a first date to go/things you are and aren't comfortable with before meeting.

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