I hurt his son, not sure if he's been serious

[Embarrassed1]

I feel really upset right now but more confused. This is going to sound so silly so please bare with me.

I have been dating a man for around 6 months. I had a 6 year old boy and he has a 5 year old boy. He met my son about 2 months ago and I only met his last month. He hates me and always says that I'm pulling faces at him etc. If DP leaves us alone together his son tells him that I have been mean to him whilst he was away.

I try to laugh it off but in all honesty the kid is starting to get on my nerves now. DP has always been supportive of me and says he knows his son makes stuff up and he's just jealous.

Today we took the kids to the park and they were off playing nicely but after half an hour or so his son started charging into me. I've recently had an operation so am sore and kept asking him to stop it but he carried on. DP never told him off so in the end I got a bit "ratty" and pushed him away from me. He just laughed and ran off again. .

Anyway after an hour or so DP said he was going to the shop to buy some chips for lunch and would I be ok with the kids as they didn't want to leave. I said maybe he should take his son as he doesn't like to be left with me and he just gave me a 'look' but I didn't mean it in a nasty way.

Anyway as soon as DP had left his son started charging into me again and I told him quite firmly not to do it and I told my own DS to stop laughing at him as it was encouraging him. With that his son took one final leap at me, bounced backwards and hit his head on the concrete floor he was crying and I picked him up and we went to find DP. When we did find him he asked what had happened and his son said "she belly bounced me on purpose and I hit my head". (I am overweight and know it, I don't need the constant reminders that his son throws at me). So I just rolled my eyes as it was yet another dig at my weight and DP actually turned around and said "why did you do that?" I said "what? roll my eyes?" so he said "No, bellybounce him" .

Obviously I got a bit cross and said "are you taking the piss or what? he ran into me AGAIN and fell backwards" so his son said "no, she bounced me on purpose with her belly" and he did a so called impression of me by belly bouncing my DS to which they both started laughing. People were looking and I was embarrassed.

We decided to call it a day and he went home and I took my DS home. I then got a text from him saying he was sorry the day was spoilt and he understood his son could be a pain but he didn't apreciate me bouncing his kid onto a concrete floor.

I just read it and I honestly don't know if he's joking or if he's serious. I'm so angry but upset too. I don't know if all this is worth the hassle but I do NOT want to end things with DP.

Am I taking it too seriously or what? My friend seems to think the text is a joke but not a funny one. Whether its a joke or not I'm more angry about that then what happened at the park. Am I being daft?

This cant be worth the hassle. surely?

Blimey, that's a tricky one! Sounds like you need to have a quiet word with DP and say that the fact he can think you would do that is very hurtful to you.

And maybe suggest that he doesn't leave you and his DS alone in future, to avoid this kind of thing happening again? His DS will get over it eventually, but it could really drive a wedge between you, which seems to be exactly what his DS wants!

HTH

No I don't think you are being daft at all. It is hard to see what he means. Why would he think that you had done anything to his child on purpose? That seems odd to me. I don't think I have ever been in a situation where a friend of mine had believed a child over me. With regards to the text I suppose you have to find out if he was joking or not. It might be a bit of a rubbish/manly apology but if he is not kidding....well that is odd!

I don't like the sound of your partner TBH, taking the mickey out of you in public. His son doesn't sound great either but at least he has the excuse of being a small boy in a difficult situation.

Looks like this man is unable to control his son, and is more than happy to leave you to do the disciplining. Then he doesnt like the result and becomes arsy. You have had an op, and he still does not care that much, does he?

Can you really see a future in this?

He's seen how his kid behaves towards you and does nothing about it. If he stops to think, he should realise that your story is far more likely to be true. TBH, if it's a joke I'd tell him to - off and if he's serious I would think I was better off without him. You don't want to end things with him so you'll have to tackle him head on about this. If you do continue with him, you'll have to get him to understand that his son needs to treat you with respect. If he won't, dump him as it'll get worse, and if he chooses to believe his son's version of events you'll wind up wishing you'd ended it now.

I would call him and make it very vlear that you did not and suggest perhaps you need to cooling off time

Also, he needs to sort his child out. That behaviour towards you or indeed anyone is not acceptable at all. I would go mad if my dd ran into my friend even once! Perhaps the best thing to do is not to see him with his little boy. His child probably just wants to spend time with his dad and is not yet ready to share him. Which is understandable.

Tbh if he was not joking when he sent the text then he obviously doesn't trust you and that is Very Bad News (imo) for your future relationship.

If he was joking, then (again imo) it is a very strange thing to joke about and he has been very unkind to you.

Either way in your position I would very seriously consider the future and how things will work out.

I also think that sending a text after what had happened is inadequate and not very considerate. Either talk about it, or don't. Don't send texts which can be misunderstood at the best of times.

You need to talk to your partner face to face about his message. If this is what its like after six months then it does not bode well for the future.

Where btw is this child's birth mother?. It sounds to me like this little boy is highly confused and upset by all the changes he has seen in his young life. Now you've come into it with your own son and he likely does not know what to think. Am not excusing his son's behaviour though because he should not have run at you like that. How were you originally introduced to him?. He probably thinks that you're going to take his Dad away from him.

Also as well, why couldn't this man be bothered to speak to you on the phone or face to face?. Text messaging is a lazy way of communicating and is not actually communicating at all.

If you want this relationship to continue then both of you need to start talking properly about your respective children and how you both expect them to behave when you are altogether. How is this man with your son, how do you feel when your own child gets told off by this man?.

As it is the two of you are not communicating effectively; there just seems to be misunderstanding and accusation.