My partner of 6 years has faced gamberling addiction all through our relationship, I only found out when my daughter was born. (I have a 4 year old with him- no more children) He got help and ive stuck by him, hes relapsed a few times and I've still stuck by him.
One relapse a few years ago included him getting drunk and putting his hands on me and also "forgetting" to look after our daughter (it was his family event - he got drunk (passed out) and left everyone else to look after her) i was fuming as i was put for a friend's birthday ( first night out in years) and then the truth came out (10000 of MY money stolen and gamblered) and he put his hands on me.
We Both had therapy (me to understand his addiction) his therapy was to over come his addiction but then last December, I found out he was playing on raffles.
This week he lied about his mail (he opened up a bank account but told me he didn't- i checked the bin and it proved he lied.
when I caught him out on his lie, he continued to lie until I said very clearly that ive searched the bin and what hes telling me isn't true so that his gaslighting isn't working.
I asked why he lied? He said hes been financially stuggling (he has a good job and I pay most bills as its my house - he does work in London and its pricey, I understand that)
He said he lied because I would've made accusation towards him and say hes gamberling again? so basically, its my fault he lied?
Anyway, I already made a post about this on here and got some great advice.
But, i asked him to either fix himself and help me to trust him again or move back in with his parents and leave me alone.
He went to his parents but said hes only going for the night.
Usually, im in bits by now and im upset with the situation, this time, I dont care?
I dont care that this is the end. Im numb to it all now as I honestly believe he doesn't love me. If he loved me and our child, he wouldn't have lied to me and keep putting the family at risk.
Not to mentioned, when I confronted him, he brought up what he doesnt like about me (I clean to much etc) instead of taking responsibility for what hes put me through so many times? He stated to point out my flaws.
Is it normal to feel numb and then the feelings kick in? Or does your body and mind just know what it's taken too much?
Im so mentally drained by him at the moment.
I feel like im better off alone..
Thank you for reading x