When do you stop trying with friends

[Bluejeansrose78]

Me and my friend met through working at the same pub, and we’ve met up a few times in the past year.

She’s not the best at checking WhatsApp and takes a while to reply to messages, but when she does, we usually end up meeting up.

Recently, I messaged her after randomly bumping into her and suggested meeting up, which she agreed to, as she had the week off work and said it would be easier to sort out since she was a bit more free. That same day, I said I was free any day this week apart from Wednesday or Saturday so we could figure it out.

She never replied to that message, and it’s now Thursday. She did react with a heart to my Happy Birthday message, but that’s it.

Do I send a reminder/check-in message just to ask if she still wants to do something, or should I just leave it?

I feel like it’s always me trying to arrange something. She interacts with me on social media by liking my Instagram stories and stuff, but she doesn’t always reply to messages (sometimes weeks go by).

I initially thought she had pulled away because me and her best friend both slept with the same guy (there was no overlap between me, her best friend and this guy, but I think people assumed there was). At first, I thought that was why she was pulling away, but she was still happy to see me and meet up even after she found out.

should i reach out one last time or just give up

To be honest as much as this is frustrating I reckon it’s probably just that’s she’s really busy or overwhelmed by life. I’d keep trying but don’t expect too much and just think you can always become super close again later when she’s through whatever busy period it is (be it weeks months or years). If she’s liking your stuff she probably still really likes you and wants to be your friend, sometimes life is just a lot even if nothing bad is going on and that’s probably all it is.

To me it just sounds like she's not great at messaging and probably not personal

You made the offer, she knows you made the offer and is choosing not to respond. Her reasons are known only to herself, but it's disheartening being in a one-way friendship.

I'd send her a message inviting her to contact you if she'd like to meet up and get on with your life. The ball would be in her court and you'd see whether she has interest in maintaining a friendship.

Honestly, I’d acknowledge to myself that she wasn’t a good communicator and/or had a lot of other stuff going on, and focus on other friends for now, rather than trying to come up with reasons why she must not want to see me..

Try not to take it personally.
This has nothing to do with you. She's just terrible at following up and actively maintaining friendships.
I would make sure to match your energy with hers. Don't be the one arranging all the get-togethers. Don't chase her. If she doesn't reply, fill your calender with things that make you happy. Don't keep any dates open and available for her.
If she wants to see you, she'll have to work around your schedule.

"She’s not the best at checking WhatsApp and takes a while to reply to messages"

Do not ever buy this, nearly 90% if not more of us check our phones every single day and mostly calls/text/whatsapp. We reply to people who matter first and those who don't we just park the messages til we are bore.

Move on and find friends that care for the friendship.

My ex-DW goes a week without messaging back certain friends and yet she is on instagram every hour checking rubbish diy stuff

Frustrating op. I try have a few friends if possible as I hate this flaky behaviour. I match their efforts now. Im def not the first one now to make plans. They either ages messaging or must catch up soon xx replies.

Exactly
I’d let this one die a death
You’re not as important to her as she is to you.
Leave space in your life for genuine friends to find you.

I think I'd let this one go, to be honest.