First date and petrified

[Scaredmamma]

I have a first date tomorrow with someone I met through OLD. I haven’t had a date in years and have been single for 6 years. We have been chatting for about 6 weeks. Would have preferred to meet sooner but our holidays have clashed so haven’t had the chance.
I feel so nervous and what I’m most nervous about is being rejected due to my looks. I have 0 confidence, partly as I have put on weight and am at my heaviest and am just convinced that straight away he won’t like me due to my weight/ looks. He has seen some pics and I never use filters so it is the true me but some times pics can be deceiving and as I say I’ve gained some weight, probably about half a stone since the most recent of those pics were taken.
Not really sure why I’m posting. Just for some moral support really 😊

Be more concerned about whether you like him than the other way around, go in there confident and if it happens it happens if not you have done it and can move on. He will be a lucky man to have you give up your free time for him, remember that ;)

Take a few deep breaths and go for it. I met my new guy online, and when I met him in a public gardens I was terrified. I pulled into the car park, he was waiting for me (I made sure I was a little late as I didn't want to get there first), we both smiled at each other ...... and that was that.

We are both in our 50s, both slightly tubby, both have baggage .... but we had a great first date and 17 months on, we are still happy.

Just enjoy your date and hopefully you will like him and vice versa. And if you don't - you will more confident when you meet the next contender.

Fear is a very normal emotion.
You can go through life avoiding things because they're scary. It won't be a very eventful, happy or fulfilled life, but you could try.
Or you could say to yourself: yes, this scares me. And I'm doing it anyway because in the end everything that's worth something inevitably comes with the fear of losing out. Fear just means I'm doing something worthwhile.

I’ve decided this week to step back into the murky cesspit of OLD too. I prefer to meet quickly to screen out anyone who isn’t right for me so will be likely doing this at the weekend too. It’s a numbers game and not everyone will be who they say they are or what you want.
You’ve got to be in the right frame of mind and approach it as an opportunity to have a good conversation and nothing more. Don’t think too far ahead. He’s seen your pictures so there must be some sort of attraction. He could look different to his photos or be completely unsuitable for you.
Focus on what you’re looking for and whether he’s right for you, don’t try and second guess what he’s thinking. You’ll never know this.
Keep it short, 45 mins is ideal then send a short nice to meet you text (if it was).
If it doesn’t work out, don’t wait around, keep swiping and chatting. Always meet in public and stay safe obviously.
Best of luck.

Thanks everyone. I have done online dating previously and have never felt that my confidence has had as much of an impact as it is having now. I think 2 weeks is probably an ideal time to chat before a date and I was a little bit worried about the delay but it couldn’t be helped. 🤞🏻

Think of it as just meeting a new friend. Don't put so much pressure on the actual date. And it's not just him that has to like you, You have to like Him as well !!

Just think of it as getting to know people ( men) again, don’t overthink it, if it’s not for you or him, move on , nothing lost, but you’ll gain experience and confidence each time, good luck, try to relax and enjoy it and let us know how it goes x

Agree with the others, just treat it as meeting someone new!

You might like him, you might not.
He might like you, he might not.

I am sure if he’s seen pictures he already finds you attractive, but don’t get too emotionally invested too soon. Keep it light, enjoy yourself, and remember he’s probably feeling nervous too!

There are millions of very overweight women in this country and most of them have a boyfriend or husband, from my observations, if that helps at all op!
wear flattering clothes and make effort with your hair and hygiene and remember it’s just meeting someone for a quick conversation - flirting might happen but it usually doesn’t to be fair (I’ve been on loads of dates now!)