I’m trapped and don’t know how to escape my soon to be marriage

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Im due to get married in 28 days in Greece, our family and friends have paid thousands to come and join us at our wedding.
We have been together 10 years since we was 18, we have 2 boys who are 1 and 4, we have a mortgage, a car on finance that’s in my name. He earns all the money I work a 16 hour a week retail job that pays minimum wage ,I done this because he didn’t want me working after the boys arrived, which at the time I was happy with but now i realise I have nothing, I have to start from the bottom again and physically won’t earn enough to support me and the boys if I leave.
I’ve just worked around his work and the boys for the last 6 years and got nothing for myself, if he leaves he’s fine, probably better off to be honest.

i don’t think I love him anymore, he’s aloud his family to treat me so bad leading up to our wedding, I’ve cried to him multiple times asking for him to support me and he just won’t and over the last few months I’ve just started to resent him, I don’t look at him the same anymore.
it’s taken all the magic away from this wedding, I wanted to love him when I see him at the end of the aisle, now I’m unsure.

I’ve spoke to him about doing the wedding but not signing the paperwork he just thinks it’s a joke but I’m dead serious. He doesn’t take anything serious, he’s a man child.

im scared and don’t know what im going to do. I have no family to help support me and I have no savings as this wedding as cost us a fortune, just the equity in the house which split will be about £20k each maybe I don’t know.

There are no deeds, op needs to check the Land Registry, last time I did this it was £3 - make sure its a .gov.uk site, there are a lot of copies.

Sorry, going back to being able to afford to live independently with your kids… this is a rough amount you may be entitled to per month based on our OP, whilst also working 16hr pw on NMW. You might also be entitled to some help with the interest on your mortgage payments. Definitely look into it because you might find you are able to manage for now. The below plus your wages would bring you to approx £2k per month.

Legally you will be in a much better financial position if you marry and then divorce. The length of relationship and children will counterbalance a short marriage.
If however getting married means you will feel less able to leave him then you have to consider that.
The worst case scenario is not marrying and ending up staying with him anyway only to find you are in a worse financial position and less able to provide for the children if you leave (or he leaves you) in a few years.
Whether you are married or not has no impact on the arrangements for the children if you split and not being married does not put you in a better position.

people are throwing round words like abusive and controlling. Op calm down and think calmly. Is this just wedding stress/ nerves, cause planning a wedding is super stressful especially with small children.

If you can be sure it’s deeper than wedding stress then talk to him. Calmly clearly and without blame , it’s not right you can’t go ahead with it where do we go from here. If you are too scared to do that then it answers all your questions so maybe speak to women’s aid.

It sounds to me like you are spiralling and panicking, you need to try and be calm and think things through.

If your family and friends love you enough to paying thousands to come to your wedding, they love you to much to want to see you trapped in an unhappy marriage. Cancel anything you can and cut your losses, the money is spent wether you marry him or not.

Only you know OP, if he really is controlling. Is it the case that he doesn't want you having any power / earning potential? Or was it that you both thought having a parent at home and just working part time, was a good idea? And that you were happy with the arrangement? Obviously it's an issue if the former. But if it's the second one, maybe your relationship is just buckling under a lot of stress? Planning a wedding abroad, whilst also looking after a toddler and another very young child, would put strain on any relationship.

Please dont go through with it. My mum did, and it's only now in her 70s that she is full of regrets over her life with my dad. She said she was in a pub crying an hour before the wedding but went ahead because all her family had come over to England for it. This has only just come out and is devastating to hear. She feels like she's wasted her whole life. Has told us how our dad has controlled her for years. Its really sad and devastating to hear.

Is he likely to become abusive and make life more difficult for you if you don't go through with it, because of the potential embarrassment he'll suffer?

Please don’t marry him, OP. Divorcing a controlling man is hell and is expensive. Far, far better to not get embroiled in all that. Calling things off will be hard, but you can do it. Good luck.