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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Girlfriends friends

6 replies

Lm4065 · 03/09/2025 20:21

I met my girlfriend 6 months ago. We got into a relationship after 6 weeks.
I am struggling a bit as her friends are very protective but overly so. I’ve cried several times over this. For context she was single several years before me and many of her friends are long term single but wanting to meet someone.
one has been outright rude to me. Others have made comments about me behind my back to my girlfriend. Nothing too major but basically assuming the worst about me and being unfair assuming I’ve done something when I havnt. For example me and my friends were supposed to join her and her friends on a night out. No set time was planned it was meant to be quite casual. One of my girlfriend’s friends said to her ‘oh well she’s not coming then’. I of course arrived with my friends as planned. Another occasion I was out with her and some of her friends. Every time I looked up one of her friends was scowling at me from across the room. Why I have no idea.
it’s really getting to me. I hate feeling so unfairly judged. I almost feel like they want us to break up. It’s even made me worried that maybe my girlfriend might be saying stuff about me behind my back but not to me?
I don’t get where the hatred is coming from.
i have brought this up to my girlfriend but she just says they are being protective. I feel it’s more than that. We have been together 6 months for gods sake.
I don’t know what to do. My instinct is to talk about it with her but I’m worried she will go and mention something to her friends which will just make the problem worse. I can’t really keep going like this. We are both women btw.

OP posts:
DeeKitch · 03/09/2025 20:37

Hello, next time there’s a meet up you could tell her how uncomfortable you feel xxx

CaroleLandis · 03/09/2025 20:39

Unfortunately many women that are looking for romance will try and scupper their friends romances when they meet someone out of jealousy and spite.

CaroleLandis · 03/09/2025 20:39

Missed the bit that you are also a woman but perhaps it is the same! 🤷🏻‍♀️

fedup078 · 03/09/2025 20:40

How old are you all ? Her friends sound like they’re bitchy teenagers and she’s no better for letting them carry on like that . I couldn’t cope with this and I’d either just refuse to go anywhere where the friends are or end the relationship .

Lm4065 · 03/09/2025 21:33

I forgot to mention also that one of her friends invited her to a dating event with her a couple of weeks ago. My girlfriend didn’t go but it really upset me and felt as if our relationship is being undermined by her friends.
to answer your question I am in my early 30s. Her and her friends are late 30s and early 40s.

OP posts:
9ctbull · 04/09/2025 10:18

My ex live in GF(she was 28 at the time and now 36) had one friend like this, who is single and has been dating men back to back for years and never in a relationship but she valued her opinion so much, 2 relationships later after me, we are back in touch and she has not stopped talking about how she wishes she kept things between us in our relationship and not just run to a friend each time to gossip or chat about our problems.

Most, not all, women have such circles and although it is good, at times it can be very very bad and affects the relationships.

as @CaroleLandis said above "Unfortunately many women that are looking for romance will try and scupper their friends romances when they meet someone out of jealousy and spite."

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