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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not comfortable with the area of the new tattoo idea

42 replies

Jose187 · 03/09/2025 17:20

Hello, in short. My wife wants to get a new tattoo a little lower than the shoulder between her chest and shoulder. We usually go with a guy that we have done some of our tattoos. So she needs to almost show part of her breast.
And I'm not comfortable with that. She labeled me as an insecure and not trusting her. I have never looked for this type of help before but I want to know if I'm on the wrong here or my feelings should not be validated. I know is her body her choice. I'm just not comfortable with the guy and the area. I guess it wasn't that short of an explanation. Thank you for your

OP posts:
SoScarletItWas · 03/09/2025 17:22

Tattooists, like doctors, really have seen it all.

What do you imagine is going to happen? He’s going to be so overcome by the partial sight of your wife’s breast that he’s going to risk his professional licence and career by jumping her?

Come on now. You’re being ridiculous.

WLnamechange · 03/09/2025 17:23

Get over yourself, seriously. Hes a tattoo artist its his job. Do you allow her to go to male GPs?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 03/09/2025 17:24

You're being ridiculous.

Hoppy34 · 03/09/2025 17:24

Tattoo artists are professionals, it’s no different than a doctor seeing skin and I’m sure he has seen way more than that on a regular basis.

can you go with her if you are really feeling that insecure about it?

PermanentTemporary · 03/09/2025 17:26

Can you unpick ‘not comfortable’ a bit more? What are you feeling? Anger, jealousy, sadness?

Is there a backstory here? Would you feel differently if the tattooist were female? If it were a physiotherapy appointment? If they were a complete stranger? Is there a backstory of past events in your relationship?

Having said that, I think you should work out what you are feeling… and then keep it to yourself. It’s just easier to manage your response and feelings if you work out what’s actually bothering you.

Arlanymor · 03/09/2025 17:27

How do you feel if she has to go to a male doctor for a female problem? It's just a body part and it's just part of the job - tattoo artists are licensed, they are professionals. Unless he has done anything to cause you to doubt his competence? I imagine not though, otherwise you would have said this in your original post.

I think your wife is right, your comments are coming from a place of insecurity. the way to test this theory is to ask yourself if you would be fine if she had a female tattoo artist do this piece of work - if you would be then, yes, you're being insecure. You summed it up in your first post: her body, her choice.

CaffeinatedSeagull · 03/09/2025 17:28

If he’s professional and you trust him to do work then there should be no issue. He has likely tattooed this area and more intimate parts of the body in the past.

Why do you feel uncomfortable? Is it trust issues?

Arlanymor · 03/09/2025 17:28

Hoppy34 · 03/09/2025 17:24

Tattoo artists are professionals, it’s no different than a doctor seeing skin and I’m sure he has seen way more than that on a regular basis.

can you go with her if you are really feeling that insecure about it?

I don't agree with 'going with her' - that's a dynamic of having a parent with you, plus most studios don't have space for visitors and certainly not at the artist's station which is where the body part would be revealed/exposed.

Slobberchops1 · 03/09/2025 17:29

Get a grip

RaininSummer · 03/09/2025 17:30

You are being rather daft here

RandomUserName96 · 03/09/2025 17:30

Just wait til you hear what goes on during her smears!

CleanShirt · 03/09/2025 17:30

Oh bore off.

AncientHarpy · 03/09/2025 17:31

You're absolutely in the wrong -- your feelings should in no way be validated, as they appear to consist largely of your belief that you own access to your wife's breasts.

You said it yourself. Her body, her choice. Just keep repeating it to yourself, it'll eventually sink in.

LayeredlikeanOnion · 03/09/2025 17:32

Jose187 · 03/09/2025 17:20

Hello, in short. My wife wants to get a new tattoo a little lower than the shoulder between her chest and shoulder. We usually go with a guy that we have done some of our tattoos. So she needs to almost show part of her breast.
And I'm not comfortable with that. She labeled me as an insecure and not trusting her. I have never looked for this type of help before but I want to know if I'm on the wrong here or my feelings should not be validated. I know is her body her choice. I'm just not comfortable with the guy and the area. I guess it wasn't that short of an explanation. Thank you for your

Thank God she's not showing her ankle. Quelle horreur!!🙄

PricklesLikely · 03/09/2025 17:32

This is a joke, surely? Why would a man post this here as a serious question?

DiscoBob · 03/09/2025 17:35

Do you think that he will touch her sexually against her consent? That she will be overcome with lust upon his touch and have rampant sex with him there and then?

It's not like he's even going to see her full breast. But either you trust her (and him) or you don't.

CancelTheTableAlan · 03/09/2025 17:36

Has she ever had a bikini wax?

Has she ever had a smear test?

Has she ever had a mammogram?

Has she ever had a baby?!

PestoHoliday · 03/09/2025 17:38

Get over yourself. It's just weird to obsesses about a professional tattooist seeing your wife's breast. He won't care, he's concentrating on his task.

I hope this OP actually is a bored kid posting for shits and giggles, because the idea of some poor woman living with a bloke this neurotic about her interactions with other men is depressing.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 03/09/2025 17:39

Not your body and not your choice, it’s as simple as that. Do some serious self reflection on why you think you should be able to dictate something like this to your partner, and then change.

BuckChuckets · 03/09/2025 18:17

You're being weird and controlling.

HerNameIsDebbie · 03/09/2025 18:47

God forbid she ever needs to get a smear test...

LieutenantJumboJr · 04/09/2025 04:54

This reaction is beyond weird

BabyCatFace · 04/09/2025 05:28

You need to get over it, you're being pathetic.

Strawberrryfields · 04/09/2025 06:13

‘Almost show part of her breast’ so he won’t see anything that wouldn’t be visible in a vest of swimsuit anyway? Even if he did it’s so that she can get the tattoo that she wants. It’s a tattoo she’ll have in a very visible place for the rest of her life. She knows trusts this artist and likes his work, it makes sense that he does the tattoo.

101Alsatians · 04/09/2025 06:22

So odd.

My OB for my youngest was male,best doctor I've ever had. He saw a lot more than part of my breast.

It's just a body part to professionals.